My Mom Is Weird

She sent me a "Liv. Breast Self Exam Kit" in the mail.

A what?! Yes, you read that right. A breast self exam kit. Why I need a kit, I have no idea... But according to the box, it comes with a tool thats designed to "greatly enhance sensitivity" and its "made of soft, latex-free polyurethane and filled with a non-toxic lubricant." I'm sorry, but to me, it sounds more like a sex toy than anything else. It really does. It even comes with its own little velvet bag to keep it in!

Amused, I called my sister to see if she'd gotten one too... And got her voicemail. When she called back, I found out that she'd been on the phone with Mom, and just as I was ringing through, Mom had said "oh! I didn't tellyour sister I was sending her one!" Ha Ha. Good timing, that. So then my sister tells me that Mom sent one to our grandmother...

I nearly died at the thought of my tiny, 77 (I think) year old, prim, proper, reserved, UPTIGHT grandmother opening that package in front of my sweet, quiet, SHY grandfather... OMG! I can't even begin to imagine the conversation that must have sparked... And for the sake of my sanity, I'm not even going to try!

I know my mom means well. Really, I do. And given that she works as a mammographer (taking mammograms all day, every day) its not as weird of a "gift" as it seems. But Oh. My. God! *laughs* That was SO the last thing I ever expected to get in the mail!