Days Like These

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel completely detached from reality? Where everything feels distant and surrealistic, as if you're watching life play itself out on a movie screen, like a Fellini film? Thats kind of how my day is going today...

Maybe the weather has something to do with it? The grey light, filtering down through rain laden clouds, washing out the already stonewashed concrete of the city... The air filling with that sticky, static charge of impending precipitation that always seems to upset my equilibrium, and makes you feel like there's more depth to the air around you than there actually is, as if its a curtain waiting to be pushed aside... Sound takes on new resonance; footsteps and labored breathing echo in your ears, thick and heavy, like a lead pipe banging against a dumpster. Everything seems louder than it should, or maybe the world seems quieter...

Its days like these that make me feel as if I don't quite belong here. Days like these find me longing for a home I've never seen... A home that may not even exist... Days like these, I feel different, as if I belong to another land, another world, another dimension. I've never truly felt at home anywhere on this earth, and days like these, I feel the outsider -- a tourist from a far away place... Or maybe a far away time. I feel out of phaze with the world around me, like you could put your hand right through me, and I wouldn't feel a thing.

I'm bursting with energy, and yet, at the same time, I feel drained... As if I'm acting as some sort of conduit; pulsing with electricity, yet keeping none of it for myself...

And my mind... Is in a world of its own. Daydreaming of a mysterious green land, full of mythical creatures and magic. I can see myself there, and it feels right somehow... Losing myself in the daydream... A sorceress on a legendary journey...

I need to write so badly... To lose myself in that dream world.. To live through my own words... So badly... My hand refuses to set down the pencil for more than a few minutes...

And here I am, stuck at work.