Monday, November 28, 2005

Knots... Yeh...

Okay, so I fell off the face of the earth there for a while...

My day job, while remarkably lacking in actual work, has been beyond stressful -- days filled with pointless staff meetings and redundant training sessions, union barganing and negotiations, and me wondering if I'm the only person on campus with half a brain in her head...

My other job -- the one I actually enjoy -- has been keeping my mind busy the rest of the time. In fact, its been tying my brain in knots because I'm trying to learn a new diagramming technique called UML (universal modelling language). Ever seen a flowchart? UML is exactly like that, only completely and totally different. Uh huh. See why my brain's been in knots? My grey matter feels like a piece of practice rope for a boyscout getting his knot tying badge.

Anyway, no deep insights for now. Its all I can do to keep my mind from melting, so yeh. No unnecessary thought for me.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Feeling Quiet

As Cat pointed out, I haven't really been around much. My posts are dwindling, and I appologize. But I just haven't been able to think of what to say. I can't seem to organize my thoughts or feelings into something intelligible. I'm not entirely sure whats up with that, but eh. Oh well.

My weekend wasn't as much fun as I'd intended it to be, and its left me feeling more than a little bit down. I'd wanted things to be relatively care free and relaxed... But instead of just hanging out and doing the Halloween thing, shit happened, and a should have been stress free Saturday turned into a tension fest and ended with a lot of tears and some hurt feelings. And eventhough I've forgiven the things said to me in a drunke haze... I've not yet forgotten them, and the words still sting.

I wish appologies fixed things. I wish they erased whatever transgression was comitted, and made everything new. But they don't. And no matter how well you understand the whys and hows of what happened, no matter how much you forgive, you still hurt for a while. Sometimes just a little, and sometimes a lot.

I'm sure this is shortlived... But it'd be nice if the offending party went out of his way to make it up to me... Just to show he noticed, and cares, that I'm still not over it, you know?

A little TLC would work wonders...