I know I haven't been posting this week. I haven't thought of anything to write, and none of the quirks I've come up with are quirky enough to really qualify...
Work sucks.
I hate professors.
I hate professors who have no concept of costs.
I hate professors who have no concept of costs, and have no concept of "budget"
I also hate professors who have no concept of the above things, and submit pre-proposals without consulting their accounting staff first.
Lets just say that hiring a postdoc on a 100k award is um... Not the brightest of ideas. Especially when said postdoc has a history of running up 2k of fabrication costs a month.
Would it be alright with everyone if I screamed now?
Oh yeah, and I especially hate professors who tell me to work up a budget with a certain amount of money, and then, after I've done what they ask, tell me to re-work said budget with only 1/3 of the original total, but keeping everything anyway.
I'm sorry people... Despite rumors to the contrary, I am wholly unable to pull money out of my ass.
And yes... The fact that I am incapable of pulling money out of my ass is my quirk this time.
=P
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Friday, July 06, 2007
Quirk #8
I really hate coming off like I'm an idiot.
Okay, maybe this isn't a quirk. I don't think I know anyone who actually enjoys having people truly think they're an imbecille. I know people who don't care what other people think about their intelligence (either they're smart enough to know that other people are just stupid, so their opinons are useless, or they're too stupid to realize that seeming stupid doesn't help them in life), but none of them actually enjoy it. Me, well, I care if people realize I'm actually quite smart. I much prefer being thought of as intelligent, and go out of my way to make sure people realize I am. I don't care if people like me or not. They can think of, and call, me a bitch openly. It doesn't bother me. As long as they know I'm a smart bitch.
It's not something that I'm proud of. I show off, mentally, and its a really shallow thing to do. Which is funny, because I don't think of myself as a shallow person. Quite the opposite actually.
Anyway.
So I hate being put into situations that make me look stupid, especially when the reason I look stupid is because I am completely and totally uninformed about something that the person putting me in the situation already knew, and should have told me. And so far today, I have ended up in these types of situations 3 times.
My desk is the closest to the door to our cube farm, and as such, it falls upon me to direct anyone who happens to need directing. So someone comes in to ask if one of my co-workers is around. So I say "if her computer is on, she probably is. if it's not, she's probably not." Upon saying this, another woman in the office decides to pipe up that said co-worker is on vacation for the week. Why she couldn't have piped up when she heard the person ask... I don't know. Why there were no "on vacation" signs posted at this co-worker's desk, I don't know. But I ended up sounding stupid as a result.
So later, another person comes in asking for the same co-worker. Having found out that she's on vacation, I try to direct them to her supervisor. Whereupon the same person that piped up before says "oh, her supervisor is on vacation too." And I nearly slam my head into my desk right then and there. But no, I hold back, and ask politely who is covering while they're gone. The answer? She is. Why she couldn't have told me all that earlier, the first time I made an ass of myself, is beyond me. But whatever.
So after that, someone comes in asking for someone that does not sit in our office (or so I thought). I look at them, confused, and try to direct them downstairs. Whereupon I'm informed by that person that the someone they're looking for moved here. Okay, its a big office, but not THAT big -- I thought -- so I'd know if someone moved in... Right? Apparently not. Apparently this person moved into the far end of the office a WEEK ago, and no one bothered to tell me. And all this I find out from... Guess who. The exact same person who stepped in the first two times.
I really am not sure who to be upset at... My boss for not keeping me in the loop? The people who went on vacation without putting notes on their doors/desks? The people moving into my office without so much as a "hi how are ya? I'm staying for a while"?
GRRR.
Okay, maybe this isn't a quirk. I don't think I know anyone who actually enjoys having people truly think they're an imbecille. I know people who don't care what other people think about their intelligence (either they're smart enough to know that other people are just stupid, so their opinons are useless, or they're too stupid to realize that seeming stupid doesn't help them in life), but none of them actually enjoy it. Me, well, I care if people realize I'm actually quite smart. I much prefer being thought of as intelligent, and go out of my way to make sure people realize I am. I don't care if people like me or not. They can think of, and call, me a bitch openly. It doesn't bother me. As long as they know I'm a smart bitch.
It's not something that I'm proud of. I show off, mentally, and its a really shallow thing to do. Which is funny, because I don't think of myself as a shallow person. Quite the opposite actually.
Anyway.
So I hate being put into situations that make me look stupid, especially when the reason I look stupid is because I am completely and totally uninformed about something that the person putting me in the situation already knew, and should have told me. And so far today, I have ended up in these types of situations 3 times.
My desk is the closest to the door to our cube farm, and as such, it falls upon me to direct anyone who happens to need directing. So someone comes in to ask if one of my co-workers is around. So I say "if her computer is on, she probably is. if it's not, she's probably not." Upon saying this, another woman in the office decides to pipe up that said co-worker is on vacation for the week. Why she couldn't have piped up when she heard the person ask... I don't know. Why there were no "on vacation" signs posted at this co-worker's desk, I don't know. But I ended up sounding stupid as a result.
So later, another person comes in asking for the same co-worker. Having found out that she's on vacation, I try to direct them to her supervisor. Whereupon the same person that piped up before says "oh, her supervisor is on vacation too." And I nearly slam my head into my desk right then and there. But no, I hold back, and ask politely who is covering while they're gone. The answer? She is. Why she couldn't have told me all that earlier, the first time I made an ass of myself, is beyond me. But whatever.
So after that, someone comes in asking for someone that does not sit in our office (or so I thought). I look at them, confused, and try to direct them downstairs. Whereupon I'm informed by that person that the someone they're looking for moved here. Okay, its a big office, but not THAT big -- I thought -- so I'd know if someone moved in... Right? Apparently not. Apparently this person moved into the far end of the office a WEEK ago, and no one bothered to tell me. And all this I find out from... Guess who. The exact same person who stepped in the first two times.
I really am not sure who to be upset at... My boss for not keeping me in the loop? The people who went on vacation without putting notes on their doors/desks? The people moving into my office without so much as a "hi how are ya? I'm staying for a while"?
GRRR.
Monday, June 25, 2007
I Could Have Done Better With Hypercard
I am officially completely and totally disgusted with my department.
Today I was required to attend a "training" session in regards to our online financial management/purchasing/reimbursements system thing. They're offering these training sessions in the hopes of getting more people to use it, instead of submitting paper documents. Well, let me tell you, no amount of training sessions are going to get more people to use this piece of crap system.
Management thinks people aren't using it because "they're afraid of new ways of doing things." HA! This is a research center that gets its funding specifically because they're one of the best in the world at figuring out how to create new and better ways of doing things. The faculty and students aren't afraid of new things. They make their livings off of new things. They APPRECIATE new and better ways to do things.
The problem here is that this online system isn't better. It's new, yes. But its already an outdated, poorly programmed, unweildly mess of a thing. Personally, I don't want to ever log into it again.
Now... I'm going to preface this next bit by explaining that I am extremely tech savvy. You give me a new program to use, and I don't need a manual. I just sit down with the thing for an hour, and suddenly I'm an expert. I'm no stranger to basic programming either. I understand the ins and outs. I've designed websites. I've written programs in basic. My BF bombards me every day with information about programming and programming languages that I never dreamed I'd ever hear, let alone actually understand -- but I do understand a lot of it.
That being said: I could have done a better job at designing this thing, and I could have done a better job of it using nothing more than hypercard. Do you remember hypercard? That lovely little program Mac had back in the 90's that let you basically write your own computer programs just by dragging and dropping page elements? Eh, if you don't remember it, that's okay. Imagine Frontpage or Dreamweaver, but for writing applications as well as websites, and much more simplistic.
Seriously. I could have done way better.
The GUI on this "intranet" is so counterintuitive that I spent 15 minutes just trying to figure out which menu item I was supposed to click on. Me. Me, who only ever needs an hour to learn a piece of software well enough to give classes on how to use it. I was completely and totally lost in this web app. The menu set up was beyond attrocious. The "instructions" on each page were convoluted and misleading. The functionality is so limited, that I can get things done faster on paper. Not to mention the fact that this thing is entirely laid out using tables. There are no divs on the page. None. Just tables. Tables and tables and tables, within even more tables.
There is no "help" menu either. No FAQ. Just a 20 page user manual that you have to download in .pdf.
If a professor wants to look at his available funding (a simple thing, a common thing) he has to sift through several pages full of overly long links (not buttons or anything), each time clicking the right one to get further along in the process.
If a student wants to make a requisition, they have to figure out that the correct section of the site to go to for that is "services" then they have to figure out which professor they're supposed to be logging in under, and then they have to figure out which type of requisition they want to fill out -- and none of this is labelled clearly and simply. It's all in accounting staff jargon that no one understands (well, no one except us accountants).
And you know what makes this whole situation worse? It's taken the staff they hired to do this YEARS to get it to the point it's at currently. YEARS! The BF probably could have had it done in 6 months, with way more functionality, and have it so streamlined that no one would be confused about anything, and no "training" would be necessary, as you could tell exactly what you were doing just by looking at the thing.
Oh yeah, and did I mention that the guy they hired to do this barely speaks english, and makes about 3 times as much money as I do.
And I could have done better at it using Hypercard.
*screams in frustration*
Today I was required to attend a "training" session in regards to our online financial management/purchasing/reimbursements system thing. They're offering these training sessions in the hopes of getting more people to use it, instead of submitting paper documents. Well, let me tell you, no amount of training sessions are going to get more people to use this piece of crap system.
Management thinks people aren't using it because "they're afraid of new ways of doing things." HA! This is a research center that gets its funding specifically because they're one of the best in the world at figuring out how to create new and better ways of doing things. The faculty and students aren't afraid of new things. They make their livings off of new things. They APPRECIATE new and better ways to do things.
The problem here is that this online system isn't better. It's new, yes. But its already an outdated, poorly programmed, unweildly mess of a thing. Personally, I don't want to ever log into it again.
Now... I'm going to preface this next bit by explaining that I am extremely tech savvy. You give me a new program to use, and I don't need a manual. I just sit down with the thing for an hour, and suddenly I'm an expert. I'm no stranger to basic programming either. I understand the ins and outs. I've designed websites. I've written programs in basic. My BF bombards me every day with information about programming and programming languages that I never dreamed I'd ever hear, let alone actually understand -- but I do understand a lot of it.
That being said: I could have done a better job at designing this thing, and I could have done a better job of it using nothing more than hypercard. Do you remember hypercard? That lovely little program Mac had back in the 90's that let you basically write your own computer programs just by dragging and dropping page elements? Eh, if you don't remember it, that's okay. Imagine Frontpage or Dreamweaver, but for writing applications as well as websites, and much more simplistic.
Seriously. I could have done way better.
The GUI on this "intranet" is so counterintuitive that I spent 15 minutes just trying to figure out which menu item I was supposed to click on. Me. Me, who only ever needs an hour to learn a piece of software well enough to give classes on how to use it. I was completely and totally lost in this web app. The menu set up was beyond attrocious. The "instructions" on each page were convoluted and misleading. The functionality is so limited, that I can get things done faster on paper. Not to mention the fact that this thing is entirely laid out using tables. There are no divs on the page. None. Just tables. Tables and tables and tables, within even more tables.
There is no "help" menu either. No FAQ. Just a 20 page user manual that you have to download in .pdf.
If a professor wants to look at his available funding (a simple thing, a common thing) he has to sift through several pages full of overly long links (not buttons or anything), each time clicking the right one to get further along in the process.
If a student wants to make a requisition, they have to figure out that the correct section of the site to go to for that is "services" then they have to figure out which professor they're supposed to be logging in under, and then they have to figure out which type of requisition they want to fill out -- and none of this is labelled clearly and simply. It's all in accounting staff jargon that no one understands (well, no one except us accountants).
And you know what makes this whole situation worse? It's taken the staff they hired to do this YEARS to get it to the point it's at currently. YEARS! The BF probably could have had it done in 6 months, with way more functionality, and have it so streamlined that no one would be confused about anything, and no "training" would be necessary, as you could tell exactly what you were doing just by looking at the thing.
Oh yeah, and did I mention that the guy they hired to do this barely speaks english, and makes about 3 times as much money as I do.
And I could have done better at it using Hypercard.
*screams in frustration*
Friday, June 22, 2007
Staff Depreciation Day
Wednesday was Staff Depreciation Day.
What? I'm making typos? I should have typed Staff Appreciation Day? Nooooo... I'm not making any typos. I intended it to read exactly that. You see, ever since I've come to work here, "staff appreciation day" has gotten cheaper and cheaper, and more and more insulting.
The first one of these things I ever got to attend, we were encouraged to bring our families with us, and partake of a huge barbeque, and play carnival games, and dance to live music all afternoon. Not to mention, bring home lots of free stuff, like t-shirts and mugs and note pads and pens and, and, and.
The second one was still a huge barbeque with carnival games, live music and loads of free stuff, but we weren't allowed to bring our families.
The third one was a much smaller barbeque (as in, one per person type thing), with carnival games, live music, and a little bit of free stuff.
The fourth one was a small barbeque, really stupid carnival games (as in, I think someone made them in their backyard), live music, and even less free stuff.
The fifth one was a rationed barbeque, for which we were required to show staff ID, the games may have well not existed, the live music was so lame it hurt my ears, and the "free stuff" consisted of a really lame looking t-shirt.
This year, year 6, wasn't even a barbeque. The university cafeteria catered premade sandwiches and bags of something that was supposed to resemble popcorn. There was no live music... At least, if there was, it hadn't shown up by the time I did (and I went late). And the "free stuff" was now not even a lame t-shirt, but was a sports bottle (you know, the OLD kind, made of thick rubbery plastic, that makes the water taste like plastic), and a pen.
Oh yes, we staff are sooo appreciated that they keep cutting the funding used to appreciate us.
What? I'm making typos? I should have typed Staff Appreciation Day? Nooooo... I'm not making any typos. I intended it to read exactly that. You see, ever since I've come to work here, "staff appreciation day" has gotten cheaper and cheaper, and more and more insulting.
The first one of these things I ever got to attend, we were encouraged to bring our families with us, and partake of a huge barbeque, and play carnival games, and dance to live music all afternoon. Not to mention, bring home lots of free stuff, like t-shirts and mugs and note pads and pens and, and, and.
The second one was still a huge barbeque with carnival games, live music and loads of free stuff, but we weren't allowed to bring our families.
The third one was a much smaller barbeque (as in, one per person type thing), with carnival games, live music, and a little bit of free stuff.
The fourth one was a small barbeque, really stupid carnival games (as in, I think someone made them in their backyard), live music, and even less free stuff.
The fifth one was a rationed barbeque, for which we were required to show staff ID, the games may have well not existed, the live music was so lame it hurt my ears, and the "free stuff" consisted of a really lame looking t-shirt.
This year, year 6, wasn't even a barbeque. The university cafeteria catered premade sandwiches and bags of something that was supposed to resemble popcorn. There was no live music... At least, if there was, it hadn't shown up by the time I did (and I went late). And the "free stuff" was now not even a lame t-shirt, but was a sports bottle (you know, the OLD kind, made of thick rubbery plastic, that makes the water taste like plastic), and a pen.
Oh yes, we staff are sooo appreciated that they keep cutting the funding used to appreciate us.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
My Bathroom Rant
Okay, so now both Tangerine Tease and another friend of mine (who I can't link due to the fact that she's finally managed to hide her blog from an online stalker) have both brought up little rants about the restrooms in their offices.
As such, I feel obligated to add mine as well.
There is someone on my floor -- I don't know who, as I haven't yet caught them -- who insists on not flushing the toilet after themselves. There is also someone in my building who insists on clogging the toilet with seat liners and an entire roll's worth of toilet paper. Every day. Every. Fucking. Day.
What in the hell is wrong with you, disgusting toilet sabotaging person? Didn't your mother or father or juvinile detention guard teach you to flush? Didn't they teach you that if you jam the toilet full of an entire roll's worth of paper, it doesn't work anymore?
I mean really. This is a freaking research group at a prestigious university. You people are obviously educated enough to either attend classes here, or work here. You can't possibly be brain dead.
So flush the goddamned toilet already!
As such, I feel obligated to add mine as well.
There is someone on my floor -- I don't know who, as I haven't yet caught them -- who insists on not flushing the toilet after themselves. There is also someone in my building who insists on clogging the toilet with seat liners and an entire roll's worth of toilet paper. Every day. Every. Fucking. Day.
What in the hell is wrong with you, disgusting toilet sabotaging person? Didn't your mother or father or juvinile detention guard teach you to flush? Didn't they teach you that if you jam the toilet full of an entire roll's worth of paper, it doesn't work anymore?
I mean really. This is a freaking research group at a prestigious university. You people are obviously educated enough to either attend classes here, or work here. You can't possibly be brain dead.
So flush the goddamned toilet already!
Monday, May 21, 2007
You're Kidding... Right?
To my boss:
You came to my desk this morning, to ask why it is that Purchasing needs 6 weeks of lead time on requisitions over $25k. And while I answered your question politely, what I really wanted to say was:
You're fucking kidding me, right?
You've been working here for a good 12 years longer than I have, and probably make about triple the amount of money I do. You're supposed to be the one with the expertise, and you're the one who's supposed to answer these types of questions for all of us underlings. But no... You're coming to ME to find out the answers to these questions.
Are you seriously trying to tell me that in the 18 years you've spent working here, you never once bothered to find out why Purchasing needs 6 weeks lead time on requisitions over $25k? Are you seriously trying to tell me that in the 18 years you've spent working here, you don't know about the policy that says items costing more than $25k must researched to see if we can get a lower price? That you don't know there's STATE LAW that says we must do this?
And then you had the gall to ask me why the balance of a purchase order was the way it was -- after I had already researched the thing 2 times, and explained it to you a good 10 times over the past 3 weeks.
You're fucking kidding me... You've GOT to be fucking kidding me. I know your office is a mess, and you can't find any of the important documentation anyone submits to you for approval, but are you really so completely out of it that you can't recall a simple explanation that you've heard 10 times already? Really? Even my 8 year old can do better than that.
I'd like to think that you're testing me, to make sure that I know these things... But I can tell by the bewildered look on your face every time you ask me that you're not.
The sad thing is, when the department was re-organizing, and all the managers had to re-apply for their jobs, I applied for your job. And they turned me down.
They must be just as stupid as you are.
You came to my desk this morning, to ask why it is that Purchasing needs 6 weeks of lead time on requisitions over $25k. And while I answered your question politely, what I really wanted to say was:
You're fucking kidding me, right?
You've been working here for a good 12 years longer than I have, and probably make about triple the amount of money I do. You're supposed to be the one with the expertise, and you're the one who's supposed to answer these types of questions for all of us underlings. But no... You're coming to ME to find out the answers to these questions.
Are you seriously trying to tell me that in the 18 years you've spent working here, you never once bothered to find out why Purchasing needs 6 weeks lead time on requisitions over $25k? Are you seriously trying to tell me that in the 18 years you've spent working here, you don't know about the policy that says items costing more than $25k must researched to see if we can get a lower price? That you don't know there's STATE LAW that says we must do this?
And then you had the gall to ask me why the balance of a purchase order was the way it was -- after I had already researched the thing 2 times, and explained it to you a good 10 times over the past 3 weeks.
You're fucking kidding me... You've GOT to be fucking kidding me. I know your office is a mess, and you can't find any of the important documentation anyone submits to you for approval, but are you really so completely out of it that you can't recall a simple explanation that you've heard 10 times already? Really? Even my 8 year old can do better than that.
I'd like to think that you're testing me, to make sure that I know these things... But I can tell by the bewildered look on your face every time you ask me that you're not.
The sad thing is, when the department was re-organizing, and all the managers had to re-apply for their jobs, I applied for your job. And they turned me down.
They must be just as stupid as you are.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Please Dispose of Your Cheese Elsewhere!
To my office mates:
Whoever decided that the communal office garbage can was a good place to dispose of your really horrible rotting cheese "thing," made a BIG mistake.
Now, instead of the staff lounge (which I don't have to visit if I don't choose to) smelling like this miserable rotten mess, everyone in our office has to partake of this wretched stink for the entire rest of the day. Not only are we forced to partake while we are at our desks, but the odor is rather disturbingly melding itself with my hair and clothing, so even when I leave the office, I'm still tortured by this awful smell. And when I go home, it will saturate the interior of my car, inflict itself upon my family, until finally it insinuates itself into every article of clothing in my laundry bin. I have my doubts about how effective any amount of laundry detergent will be against this odiforous scourge... It may well follow me to my grave. So please...
Please dispose of your cheese elsewhere!
Whoever decided that the communal office garbage can was a good place to dispose of your really horrible rotting cheese "thing," made a BIG mistake.
Now, instead of the staff lounge (which I don't have to visit if I don't choose to) smelling like this miserable rotten mess, everyone in our office has to partake of this wretched stink for the entire rest of the day. Not only are we forced to partake while we are at our desks, but the odor is rather disturbingly melding itself with my hair and clothing, so even when I leave the office, I'm still tortured by this awful smell. And when I go home, it will saturate the interior of my car, inflict itself upon my family, until finally it insinuates itself into every article of clothing in my laundry bin. I have my doubts about how effective any amount of laundry detergent will be against this odiforous scourge... It may well follow me to my grave. So please...
Please dispose of your cheese elsewhere!
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