poly...

okay... so i'm trying to blog... and not really knowing what to say.

and pardon the lack of capitalization and the occasional missing punctuation, i really couldnt be bothered at this point.

but yeah. so. life has been weird lately. here i am, basically house bound. i mean, i can go out, but i cant go out alone. and i cant go out for extended periods of time without suffering for it for days afterwards. apparently, the deal is that i have fibromyalgia, and i'm in excruciating pain 24/7. it had built up over time so much that while my brain was tuning it out (so i didnt even necessarily realize), my body wasn't, and was ceasing to function properly. i've got pain medications now, and they help, but not enough to make it so i can work yet. the only problem is that they dull my brain too, so it doesn't work as well at blocking out all the pain i used to. so while i'm in less pain over all, i feel it more. especially when the meds start to wear off. How exactly that's helping me, i'm not sure... Other than that i dont sleep as much now (i was sleeping 12-14 hours a day for a while).

right. so here i am, pretty much crippled, and suddenly i find myself with 2 boyfriends. who know about each other, and dont mind it at all. now... i'm alt lifestyle. i dont bring it up much here, cuz i dont want to make it the focus of my life. and i've got plenty of friends in poly relationships. but i never really thought i'd have a poly relationship, unless it was me, a guy, and a girl, or me and my bf and another couple. i never imagined myself having completely separate relationships with 2 men. But i am. And loving it. Its about the only thing that keeps my mind off the never ending aches and muscle spasms and sore joints. it wasn't planned, and it definitely wasn't something i was looking for right now, but there it is, and i've honestly never been happier.

Horses Can't Throw Up

So today I learned an interesting little factoid... Apparently, horses are completely without the ability to upchuck. This is not something I envy, though I know plenty of people who would envy it.

I am ill. I have a fever, I have a headache, I feel dizzy, and if I dare to eat anything I feel queasy for a good few hours afterwards. Supposedly I'm having a toxic reaction to one of the medications that I take. One that I've been on for 2 years without a problem. Although, they have been tweaking my dosage lately, and that might be to blame.

The thing is, I hate feeling queasy. If I'm going to sick up, I'd rather just sick up and get it over with. Nine times out of ten, I feel better afterwards anyway.

But no... Like horses, I seem to be incapable of actually getting THAT sick, so I am doomed to perpetual nausea (either that or starvation). And for the record, I've been this way since Sunday before last, and I'm showing no signs of getting better, despite having been off the offending medications for several days. In fact, I think going off said medications has actually made things worse, because now, on top of the original ailments, I haven't really slept for several days, and I'm now tired and really REALLY grumpy.

And I'm at work.

Bleh.

And Now For Something Completely Different.

So all last week I was sick. Went home from work on Monday with a fever and stomach cramps... And things just got worse from there. So Thursday I end up in my doctor's office, with her grilling me about what I ate on Sunday and Monday, and how many time's I'd been to the restroom, and what those trips to the restroom consisted of (in great detail... ick), and was anyone else sick, and so on and so on. What was the verdict? Food poisoning. And the treatment? The rest of the week at home doing nothing, lots of gatorade, and the same antibiotic that they give people for Anthrax.

Yeah, you read that right. And yeah, its as bad as it sounds. I spent a good 3 days cursing the stuff and wondering which was worse: The sickness? Or the cure?

In anycase, I'm feeling better now, and am back at work, wasting time between menial tasks.

And now for something completely different...

I'm starting to think that every time I go out for a smoke, a little sign appears over my head that says (in brightly blinking neon, with an arrow pointed down at my head): "Information Kiosk"

Why do I think that, you ask? (Okay, so you didn't ask. Just pretend that you did.) Well, it seems that every time I step outside my building, someone is asking me for directions.

The other day, someone asks me if the building I'm standing in front of is on Haste street.

I give her a funny look and say, "This is Hearst street."
She looks at me deadpan and asks, "Is there a difference?"
Me: "Yes"
What I wanted to say: "Yeah, the difference is that Haste is about a mile south of here. Enjoy your 20 minute walk."
Oy.

I would need to borrow someone else's hands and feet to be able to count on fingers and toes how many times I've been asked in the past 3 weeks: "Can I get to campus from here?"
Note: If you are "here" you are already on campus. Ahem.

I went out for a smoke after lunch today, and was talking with a co worker, when someone comes up to me and asks "is this the civil engineering building?" Of course, it's not... But I don't remember exactly which building is the civil engineering building. There are simply too many engineering buildings on campus to remember them all. So my co worker and I are listing off buildings to eachother, and naming the departments they cover...

"Evans?"
"No, that's math"
"Oh. What about Davis?"
"I don't know what's in Davis, but I don't think it's Civil"
"Well its not the Hearst Mining building..."
"Sibley?"
"That's not even a building. Its just an auditorium."
"Oh right."
"Etcheverry?"
"No, thats Mechanical"
"Um... O'Brien?"
"Chemistry. What's Mc Laughlin?"
"I think that's Civil"
"You sure?"
"Well, its not physics, thats for sure."
(Person asking for directions breaks in, albeit hesitantly): "Mc Laughlin sounds familiar?"
"That must be it then"
(Proceeded to give lengthy and convoluted directions)
Note: Just because someone is standing in the middle of a college campus, having a discussion about the goings on of said college campus, that doesn't necessarily mean they know which department is in what building. They have maps for these things. Use them.

I hope they ended up in the right place...