Quirk #8

I really hate coming off like I'm an idiot.

Okay, maybe this isn't a quirk. I don't think I know anyone who actually enjoys having people truly think they're an imbecille. I know people who don't care what other people think about their intelligence (either they're smart enough to know that other people are just stupid, so their opinons are useless, or they're too stupid to realize that seeming stupid doesn't help them in life), but none of them actually enjoy it. Me, well, I care if people realize I'm actually quite smart. I much prefer being thought of as intelligent, and go out of my way to make sure people realize I am. I don't care if people like me or not. They can think of, and call, me a bitch openly. It doesn't bother me. As long as they know I'm a smart bitch.

It's not something that I'm proud of. I show off, mentally, and its a really shallow thing to do. Which is funny, because I don't think of myself as a shallow person. Quite the opposite actually.

Anyway.

So I hate being put into situations that make me look stupid, especially when the reason I look stupid is because I am completely and totally uninformed about something that the person putting me in the situation already knew, and should have told me. And so far today, I have ended up in these types of situations 3 times.

My desk is the closest to the door to our cube farm, and as such, it falls upon me to direct anyone who happens to need directing. So someone comes in to ask if one of my co-workers is around. So I say "if her computer is on, she probably is. if it's not, she's probably not." Upon saying this, another woman in the office decides to pipe up that said co-worker is on vacation for the week. Why she couldn't have piped up when she heard the person ask... I don't know. Why there were no "on vacation" signs posted at this co-worker's desk, I don't know. But I ended up sounding stupid as a result.

So later, another person comes in asking for the same co-worker. Having found out that she's on vacation, I try to direct them to her supervisor. Whereupon the same person that piped up before says "oh, her supervisor is on vacation too." And I nearly slam my head into my desk right then and there. But no, I hold back, and ask politely who is covering while they're gone. The answer? She is. Why she couldn't have told me all that earlier, the first time I made an ass of myself, is beyond me. But whatever.

So after that, someone comes in asking for someone that does not sit in our office (or so I thought). I look at them, confused, and try to direct them downstairs. Whereupon I'm informed by that person that the someone they're looking for moved here. Okay, its a big office, but not THAT big -- I thought -- so I'd know if someone moved in... Right? Apparently not. Apparently this person moved into the far end of the office a WEEK ago, and no one bothered to tell me. And all this I find out from... Guess who. The exact same person who stepped in the first two times.

I really am not sure who to be upset at... My boss for not keeping me in the loop? The people who went on vacation without putting notes on their doors/desks? The people moving into my office without so much as a "hi how are ya? I'm staying for a while"?

GRRR.

You're Kidding... Right?

To my boss:

You came to my desk this morning, to ask why it is that Purchasing needs 6 weeks of lead time on requisitions over $25k. And while I answered your question politely, what I really wanted to say was:

You're fucking kidding me, right?

You've been working here for a good 12 years longer than I have, and probably make about triple the amount of money I do. You're supposed to be the one with the expertise, and you're the one who's supposed to answer these types of questions for all of us underlings. But no... You're coming to ME to find out the answers to these questions.

Are you seriously trying to tell me that in the 18 years you've spent working here, you never once bothered to find out why Purchasing needs 6 weeks lead time on requisitions over $25k? Are you seriously trying to tell me that in the 18 years you've spent working here, you don't know about the policy that says items costing more than $25k must researched to see if we can get a lower price? That you don't know there's STATE LAW that says we must do this?

And then you had the gall to ask me why the balance of a purchase order was the way it was -- after I had already researched the thing 2 times, and explained it to you a good 10 times over the past 3 weeks.

You're fucking kidding me... You've GOT to be fucking kidding me. I know your office is a mess, and you can't find any of the important documentation anyone submits to you for approval, but are you really so completely out of it that you can't recall a simple explanation that you've heard 10 times already? Really? Even my 8 year old can do better than that.

I'd like to think that you're testing me, to make sure that I know these things... But I can tell by the bewildered look on your face every time you ask me that you're not.

The sad thing is, when the department was re-organizing, and all the managers had to re-apply for their jobs, I applied for your job. And they turned me down.

They must be just as stupid as you are.