And Stupidity Ensues...

So, my BF's company has this main client... Who has asked us to work with another contractor he has to develop some code to interact with third party software designed by this contractor (who I'll call... Moron, because he is one).

Moron has consistently, since the start of the project, made numerous assumptions about our code and how it operates, and proceeded to try and tell us how to do our jobs, and how to re-write code that he hasn't even seen. He has been rude, condescending, and completely unprofessional as well. And its taken him 6 months to do a job we could have done in 2 weeks. But yes, he is all knowing, and we're the idiots... =\

Well, I've just about had it with this guy. The latest set of emails that have gone back and forth have been about setting up testing to make sure that our code and his code interact properly. What does he want to do? He wants us to test it on our client's LIVE system. The PRODUCTION system. The one where if something breaks, our client loses business. We of course told him that this was a stupid idea that not only goes against our corporate policy (it does -- we're not idiots), that it would endanger our client's system, and that it was not a viable means of testing anything (it's not. ever heard of a controlled environment?). But his response to that was to try to impune us in front of our mutual client, to call us stupid (not in those words of course), and proceed to tell us how HE thinks we should implement his idea (despite the fact that our code isn't written the way he thinks its is -- and a good thing too, or the thing would fall apart under the least bit of stress).

Every time we get an email from this guy, I have an anxiety attack. Hell, all I have to do is see his name in my inbox, and my heart rate goes through the roof. I've gone through more Ativan just reading his emails than I have ... well, ever.

The problem is, I want to tell him off. I NEED to tell him off. But I have no idea how to go about doing that. See, I understand whats going on, but I lack the scientific jargon to refer to it properly. I lack the intimate details of the processes, and as such, I'm sure I would end up sounding stupid.

But this guy needs to be put in his place. He is bad-mouthing our company based on his half-assed ideas and assumptions (incorrect ones, btw), and ridiculing us for being professional and scientifically sound in our quality assurance practices. And I, for one, am fucking sick of his bullshit.

Any suggestions on how best to shove my foot so far up this guy's ass that he chokes on my shoe laces would be greatly appreciated... =)