It's funny the things your mind does when you're asleep... Well... Sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's scary as fuck.
For the most part, I don't dream. At least, if I do, I don't remember it. That's not a hard rule, but it's true at least 90% of the time. Except lately.
For the past two weeks, I've been dreaming every time I fall asleep -- even on the train in the morning -- and not pleasant dreams either. I've been having intensely vivid and frighteningly real nightmares. You know, the kind that shock you awake then follow you around echoing in your ears all day and flashing in front of your eyes when you least expect it.
There's something about these dreams though... They're not exactly just dreams. I mean, yes, I dream them, but instead of them being random shit generated by my subconscious, they're memories. Very old, horrific memories. Things that actually happened. Things I don't want to remember. Things I don't even want to think about remembering.
And now, here they are, insinuating themselves into my dreams, then chasing me into wakefulness... Refusing to be ignored or forgotten once more.
It's like my own mind is stalking me... And it makes me feel afraid to sleep, afraid to be alone...
The two states I spend most of my time in. *sigh*
hopefully your mind is shedding the memories once and for all.
ReplyDeleteI agree with edge. Perhaps it's a way of your mind dealing with those bad memories and in a little while you won't be haunted by them anymore.
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