I'm Alive. I think.

Okay, so again, not posting much. Sorry. Nothing funny has happened, and nothing else noteworthy has happened either. I can't even think of quirks about myself. Meh.

Anyway, for the sake of you all who don't have my email or my AIM to check on me -- I am indeed alive, and as well as can be expected.

The BF might disagree with me on the "well" part... My panicky breakdowns seem to leave him confused about whether or not I'm really "okay" (whatever "okay" means), and I've had more than my share lately.

I'll write something better when I think of something better...

Quirk #10

I know I haven't been posting this week. I haven't thought of anything to write, and none of the quirks I've come up with are quirky enough to really qualify...

Work sucks.

I hate professors.

I hate professors who have no concept of costs.

I hate professors who have no concept of costs, and have no concept of "budget"

I also hate professors who have no concept of the above things, and submit pre-proposals without consulting their accounting staff first.

Lets just say that hiring a postdoc on a 100k award is um... Not the brightest of ideas. Especially when said postdoc has a history of running up 2k of fabrication costs a month.

Would it be alright with everyone if I screamed now?

Oh yeah, and I especially hate professors who tell me to work up a budget with a certain amount of money, and then, after I've done what they ask, tell me to re-work said budget with only 1/3 of the original total, but keeping everything anyway.

I'm sorry people... Despite rumors to the contrary, I am wholly unable to pull money out of my ass.

And yes... The fact that I am incapable of pulling money out of my ass is my quirk this time.

=P

Quirk #9

I'm addicted to books.

Seriously. I go through books like other people go through... well... air I suppose. Example: I bought a book at lunch last friday. I finished it well before going to bed the same day. And I'm talking about a 300 page book here, not one of those little bitty leaflet style ones.

When I was a kid, spring break was my high point because I would go to the library every day, check out a stack of books, and return them the next day, all read. In fact, you know those summer reading contests they would have? I'd have won them all -- if I'd remembered to turn in my reading logs... lol.

Now that I'm a grown up, I never go to the library. Instead, I'm building my own. I buy every book I read, and never get rid of it. My goal is that some day, when I'm rich (and hopefully, not famous), I'm going to have a mansion custom built. Half of it will be one HUGE two story room with shelves built into every bit of every wall, floor to ceiling, with those really cool ladders on runners going around the room.

I think I'm kind of old fashioned when it comes to books... Theres a woman in my office who caught me reading while I was walking to go get lunch (yes, I can read and walk at the same time), and she asked me why I don't listen to books on "tape" (she has hers on her iPod). I told her, honestly, that listening to someone read a book takes the joy out of it for me, and becomes boring after a while. The next day she brings in this little thing that looks like a PDA in a leather case... And says "I know you like books, so I wanted to show you this..." She turns it on, and its an eBook reader. I was horrified, but chocked back my distaste long enough to explain to her that I can't stand reading for long periods of time on a computer screen, and much prefer a regular book. She said she was the same way, but got tired of having to sell her books (OMG WHAT?). Again, I was shocked. I never sell ANY of my books! I keep them all, and read them again in a couple years (when I may have finally forgotten some of the plot). Besides, if I sold my books, I wouldn't have any left for my dream library!

In all truth, even if it weren't for the not liking to read a computer screen for hours at a time, and even if it weren't for the wanting to have a library of my own some day, I'd still buy regular books. There's something relaxing to me about the feel of a book in my hand. There's something relaxing about the smell of the fresh ink on the paper of a new book, and there's something really reassuring about the smell of old ink on old paper of a well worn used novel. The act of turning the pages is my own kind of meditation. It's as if by touching the book, I'm better able to absorb the story. Like the book is a portal to another world, and by holding it, I transport myself there. And that immersion, that complete escape from the reality of the world around me (I read mostly sci-fi/fantasy novels) is something that I don't think I could live without.

Right now, book-wise, I'm revisiting my adolescence by re-reading all my Piers Anthony novels (I have quite a few), and I was slightly disappointed to discover that I must have read some of the series' from books borrowed from the library, as I don't have the entire sets in my collection.

I guess a trip to Borders or Barnes & Nobels is in order... If they even still stock those books... Maybe Amazon.com? Eh. I'll find them somewhere.

Quirk #8

I really hate coming off like I'm an idiot.

Okay, maybe this isn't a quirk. I don't think I know anyone who actually enjoys having people truly think they're an imbecille. I know people who don't care what other people think about their intelligence (either they're smart enough to know that other people are just stupid, so their opinons are useless, or they're too stupid to realize that seeming stupid doesn't help them in life), but none of them actually enjoy it. Me, well, I care if people realize I'm actually quite smart. I much prefer being thought of as intelligent, and go out of my way to make sure people realize I am. I don't care if people like me or not. They can think of, and call, me a bitch openly. It doesn't bother me. As long as they know I'm a smart bitch.

It's not something that I'm proud of. I show off, mentally, and its a really shallow thing to do. Which is funny, because I don't think of myself as a shallow person. Quite the opposite actually.

Anyway.

So I hate being put into situations that make me look stupid, especially when the reason I look stupid is because I am completely and totally uninformed about something that the person putting me in the situation already knew, and should have told me. And so far today, I have ended up in these types of situations 3 times.

My desk is the closest to the door to our cube farm, and as such, it falls upon me to direct anyone who happens to need directing. So someone comes in to ask if one of my co-workers is around. So I say "if her computer is on, she probably is. if it's not, she's probably not." Upon saying this, another woman in the office decides to pipe up that said co-worker is on vacation for the week. Why she couldn't have piped up when she heard the person ask... I don't know. Why there were no "on vacation" signs posted at this co-worker's desk, I don't know. But I ended up sounding stupid as a result.

So later, another person comes in asking for the same co-worker. Having found out that she's on vacation, I try to direct them to her supervisor. Whereupon the same person that piped up before says "oh, her supervisor is on vacation too." And I nearly slam my head into my desk right then and there. But no, I hold back, and ask politely who is covering while they're gone. The answer? She is. Why she couldn't have told me all that earlier, the first time I made an ass of myself, is beyond me. But whatever.

So after that, someone comes in asking for someone that does not sit in our office (or so I thought). I look at them, confused, and try to direct them downstairs. Whereupon I'm informed by that person that the someone they're looking for moved here. Okay, its a big office, but not THAT big -- I thought -- so I'd know if someone moved in... Right? Apparently not. Apparently this person moved into the far end of the office a WEEK ago, and no one bothered to tell me. And all this I find out from... Guess who. The exact same person who stepped in the first two times.

I really am not sure who to be upset at... My boss for not keeping me in the loop? The people who went on vacation without putting notes on their doors/desks? The people moving into my office without so much as a "hi how are ya? I'm staying for a while"?

GRRR.

Quirk #7

Squirrels scare me.

Not in the run away screaming sense, but in the cross the street to get away from them sense, or the stand stock still until they go away sense, or the slowly back away from them sense.

You see, I grew up around what I have come to believe are genetically engineered super squirrels that know no fear of humans, or anything else for that matter. The college campus that I work at is infested with the suckers, and truly, they are not afraid of anyone or anything. Half of them are rabid. The other half will bite you out of spite. They all will steal food right out of your hands, climbing up your leg to do so. It's so bad that ecologists have been called in numerous times to try and come up with a solution for them.

Short of putting a bounty on their heads, no one has been able to devise a plan to get rid of them.

This is because these rabid, non-people fearing, food stealing buggers are not your normal squirrel. I've come to the conclusion that what happened is that way back in the beginning of the university, when genetic engineering was still just a matter of breeding two different species together, someone in life sciences decided to use squirrels as test subjects. These squirrels then mutated, thanks to the vast number of chemicals and radioactive substances they were subjected to, to have the brain power of 10 students all combined. Because they were suddenly smart, and self-aware, they became aware of the torture that was being inflicted upon them. Resenting their human creators (creators of their intelligence anyway) for said toruture, they escaped from their laboratory prison. In the process of this escape, I'm quite sure that at least one lowly graduate student researcher lost his life -- perhaps more -- but the university covered it up, fearing a scandal.

These squirrels, now free, pledged themselves to the destruction of human kind. Not by blowing anything up, or creating bio-warfare devices, mind you. They plotted the destruction of humans simply by scaring them away from places of higher education, and dooming the human race to an existance of substandard education. And we all know ignorance kills, so the plan was a pretty good one.

Now, these squirrels terrorize anyone on campus who dares come within sight of them, patiently winning their war one undergrad at a time. They celebrate when they succeed in frightening off a college administrator, and throw a huge gala event when they manage to chase a professor off campus.

You don't believe me? Ask the BF. He knows. He's seen them. In fact, he thinks they should be made super elite bosses in some MMORPG, they are that fierce.

Is it any wonder squirrels freak me out a little bit now?

Things That Make You Go "Ummm"

So I get on the elevator at the second floor, and press the 5th floor button.

After I do this, the only other person in the elevator (who has obviously pressed the 4th floor button) says to me:

"Uh, it's going UP"

I look at her and say:

"Yeah, I know. See how I pressed the 5 button?"

Silence ensues.

*shakes head*

Quirk #6

I am addicted to writing implements and the paper they are used upon.

In this modern day of putting everything in a digital file stored on a central server, or a flash drive on your keychain, I still do a large amount of work on paper. In fact, most of the time, I have great difficulty working on anything except paper. To the degree that I tend to duplicate work, simply because I am compelled to work it out on paper first, then enter it into its digital format.

Along these lines, I am a menace to my bank account when entering an office supply store. My most recent decadence was a couple of engineer's computation pads... Which I absolutely adore, in part because I grew up stealing them from my dad but mostly because when it comes to working on paper, there is no better paper to do it on. It's tint lends itself to being easily read, and the faint grid pattern leads to the neatest of writing and figure drawing. The fun part? When you photo copy it, there is no grid, no tint -- just what you wrote on it, and a perfect set of margins. Oh yeah, and no bleeding through either. It's the smoothest, silkiest, leak and smudge free paper I've ever used... For work anyway.

When it comes to personal writing purposes, Claire Fontaine notebooks are piled up on my shelves, on my kitchen table, and anywhere else I can think to leave them. They're expensive. I won't deny that. But if you are a writer of any type (as in, physically writing), it is worth the expense. I have friends that I've turned on to this rather small line of stationary/notebooks, and they have never turned back. Again, smooth silky paper, no smudges, no leaks, and its quite heavier weight than most paper, so does not tear or crumple easily.

Hmmm... This is starting to sound like a stationary ad... I'll switch to pens.

I think I'm the only person on the face of the earth that has pen-gasms. I walk down the pen aisle of any store (any store that has more than bic ball points that is), and I get all hot and bothered. I actually coo over pens. As such, I am incredibly picky about what kind of pens I use.

I can't stand anything other than the finest, most elegant point. Which of course means that I absolutely refuse to use a normal ball point pen. Ball point pens should all be burned at the stake, and a ban put on ever producing them again, imo... But I don't care much for a pure felt tip either, as the tend to warp over time. Instead, there are two types of pen that I will happily use, my favorite being a fountain pen. Unfortunately, the last one of these I had was rather calously snapped in half by an overzealous toddler who had managed his way into the depths of my purse while I wasn't paying the closest of attention... Which nearly resulted in his very quick demise. But I held myself back. It was only a pen after all... *chokes on her words* ONLY a pen... ACK. *cries* I still miss that pen. It was beautiful. But I can't quite afford the hundred or so dollars it would cost to replace it. [If anyone would care to replace it for me *ahem* hint hint *ahem* I will gladly pick out a suitable model at your request]

The other type is much more readily obtained from a normal store -- rollerball pens. Ultra fine point. In as many colors other than black as possible. I personally have never cared much for black ink. It seems so blah. And when you photo copy it, you can't tell it from the original. Blue, again, is a bit boring, but only because it is so overused. I much prefer colors like purple and green. Occasionally even red.

When I used a fountain pen, I used to mix my own colors of ink... Not entirely reccomended mind you, but you'd be surprised the tints one can come up with simply by "forgetting" to clean the nib between color switches.

Anyway, yeah, I'm addicted. I don't deny it. It's one of the few creature comforts I indulge myself in lately -- pens and paper -- and remarkably, they can be practical =)