Quirk #7

Squirrels scare me.

Not in the run away screaming sense, but in the cross the street to get away from them sense, or the stand stock still until they go away sense, or the slowly back away from them sense.

You see, I grew up around what I have come to believe are genetically engineered super squirrels that know no fear of humans, or anything else for that matter. The college campus that I work at is infested with the suckers, and truly, they are not afraid of anyone or anything. Half of them are rabid. The other half will bite you out of spite. They all will steal food right out of your hands, climbing up your leg to do so. It's so bad that ecologists have been called in numerous times to try and come up with a solution for them.

Short of putting a bounty on their heads, no one has been able to devise a plan to get rid of them.

This is because these rabid, non-people fearing, food stealing buggers are not your normal squirrel. I've come to the conclusion that what happened is that way back in the beginning of the university, when genetic engineering was still just a matter of breeding two different species together, someone in life sciences decided to use squirrels as test subjects. These squirrels then mutated, thanks to the vast number of chemicals and radioactive substances they were subjected to, to have the brain power of 10 students all combined. Because they were suddenly smart, and self-aware, they became aware of the torture that was being inflicted upon them. Resenting their human creators (creators of their intelligence anyway) for said toruture, they escaped from their laboratory prison. In the process of this escape, I'm quite sure that at least one lowly graduate student researcher lost his life -- perhaps more -- but the university covered it up, fearing a scandal.

These squirrels, now free, pledged themselves to the destruction of human kind. Not by blowing anything up, or creating bio-warfare devices, mind you. They plotted the destruction of humans simply by scaring them away from places of higher education, and dooming the human race to an existance of substandard education. And we all know ignorance kills, so the plan was a pretty good one.

Now, these squirrels terrorize anyone on campus who dares come within sight of them, patiently winning their war one undergrad at a time. They celebrate when they succeed in frightening off a college administrator, and throw a huge gala event when they manage to chase a professor off campus.

You don't believe me? Ask the BF. He knows. He's seen them. In fact, he thinks they should be made super elite bosses in some MMORPG, they are that fierce.

Is it any wonder squirrels freak me out a little bit now?