But you can't say "asshole."
Apparently "hole" became profanity while I wasn't looking, because the censored part of "asshole" is not the "ass" part, but instead is the "hole" part.
I guess I'm going to have to start censoring the word "hole" out of any office communications I make...
In the mean time, it's nice to know that the FCC thinks it's perfectly acceptible for me to call someone an ass, as long as I don't get any more specific about exactly which part of an ass they are.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
I Have No Words...
Okay.
So we went to Target tonight for some last minute back to school shopping. The kidlet needed all sorts of stuff, several of which seemed to be sold out, but whatever, we got the basics.
Walking back to the car, from a distance, I notice a puddle who's origin appears to be beneath our truck. Oh shit, not again I think, remembering when our coolant system failed and dumped a puddle of green on the asphalt not so long ago.
So we get closer, we examine, trying to stay calm.
The liquid is:
Watery
Yellowish
Coming from somewhere underneath the car
Not just a droplet or two
Totally and utterly confused, because its neither the color nor consistancy of coolant, we decide to try to start the car. It runs fine, no warning lights, no nothing.
Ooooooooo kay.
So we drive to Taco Hell to grab a quick dinner (which I opted out of), thinking it would be a good test to see if theres actually anything wrong with the car.
After parking, I get out, and start to investigate again. There are no leaks. There is no puddle forming. Not even a drop of oil.
Ooooooooo kay.
So I start to stand up, and in the process come eye level with the back wall of our front wheel well.
Which happens to be wet.
And just like that, it clicked. I knew exactly what was wrong with the car, and I started laughing.
When the BF came back from getting take out, I decided to inform him.
"Well," I said, "we have just experienced one of the most disgusting car problems ever."
"What?" he said.
--- Dramatic Pause ---
"Someone peed in our wheel well."
Yup yup. That watery clear yellowish liquid dripping from the car was none other than the urination of the person who pulled out of the spot next to us just as I was looking under the car the first time.
I hate where I live. I really, really do.
So we went to Target tonight for some last minute back to school shopping. The kidlet needed all sorts of stuff, several of which seemed to be sold out, but whatever, we got the basics.
Walking back to the car, from a distance, I notice a puddle who's origin appears to be beneath our truck. Oh shit, not again I think, remembering when our coolant system failed and dumped a puddle of green on the asphalt not so long ago.
So we get closer, we examine, trying to stay calm.
The liquid is:
Watery
Yellowish
Coming from somewhere underneath the car
Not just a droplet or two
Totally and utterly confused, because its neither the color nor consistancy of coolant, we decide to try to start the car. It runs fine, no warning lights, no nothing.
Ooooooooo kay.
So we drive to Taco Hell to grab a quick dinner (which I opted out of), thinking it would be a good test to see if theres actually anything wrong with the car.
After parking, I get out, and start to investigate again. There are no leaks. There is no puddle forming. Not even a drop of oil.
Ooooooooo kay.
So I start to stand up, and in the process come eye level with the back wall of our front wheel well.
Which happens to be wet.
And just like that, it clicked. I knew exactly what was wrong with the car, and I started laughing.
When the BF came back from getting take out, I decided to inform him.
"Well," I said, "we have just experienced one of the most disgusting car problems ever."
"What?" he said.
--- Dramatic Pause ---
"Someone peed in our wheel well."
Yup yup. That watery clear yellowish liquid dripping from the car was none other than the urination of the person who pulled out of the spot next to us just as I was looking under the car the first time.
I hate where I live. I really, really do.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Quirk #12
I am a total foodie.
I mean this in the good sense of the word, not that I'm a food snob -- although, I think maybe I AM a food snob... Um. Okay, yes, I'm a food snob. But I have full right to be. I went to culinary school. I know how to cook like a 5 star chef. I invent my own recipes, and they're actually restaurant worthy. I'm familiar with an incalculable number of types of cuisines -- not just what they should taste like, but how to cook them as well.
To me, good food can be better than the most amazing sex you could ever dream of, and I'm happy with that. Of course, this all means that I weigh a bit more than I should... Meh. Who gives a crap. Its not like I weigh 3 metric tonnes or anything.
So last night, after searching for a new apartment, we're driving through this village in the berkeley hills (yes, it really is a village), and we pass by this little bistro that looks charming. I'd been there for lunch before, but not for dinner, so I figure we should try out their dinner menu.
To my surprise, what during lunch time is a charming cafe with reasonable prices and a simple menu, becomes at night a 5 star french californian cuisine restaurant with a prix fixe menu that you have to know a fair amount about food and the french language to decipher.
Personally, I was in heaven the moment I saw that.
I was above heaven the moment I saw that they make their own pate (I can't figure out how to make the little accent thingies, so that looks wrong... ).
So we ordered a 3 course meal. And yes, it was actual courses. Like really. Complete with the table being reset between the entree' and dessert.
The pate was amazing. They used sage in it, and I've never tasted a better pate in my life.
I had the pacific halibut, which was served over a rice pilaf and topped with wilted escarole and shallots, garnished with a baked fig. The whole thing was surrounded by just the perfect amount of a butter and lemon sauce, which I HAVE to figure out how to make.
The BF got a roast chicken leg roulade, again over rice pilaf, topped with wilted spinach and shallots.
I ate too much. I ate way too much. But because it was all cooked to perfection, and from the freshest local ingredients (many of them organic apparently), I did not feel weighed down at all. Which was a good thing, mind you, because we hadn't had dessert yet.
Dessert was classically french. An artisan cheese platter made up of locally made goat and cow's milk cheeses that I cannot for the life of me remember the names of (probably because I couldn't have pronounced them without tying my tongue in a knot). They were small, and amazing, and one was crusted with ash, another was crusted with grape leaves, and the third was just a normal white crust, and it came with a little bunch of champagne grapes... AH.
We didn't order any wine... We should have though. That would have just made the evening beyond perfect. As it was though, it was better than sex, and I have never been happier with a restaurant in my life. I took their card so we could make reservations for the next time we want to go there. Turns out that we were insanely lucky to get a table without a reservation as they were, other than our one table, booked solid. I mean, turning people away at the door booked solid.
Not that I'm surprised. It was $100 well spent (yup. Dinner for 2, $100 USD. You read it right), and I don't regret one single penny. In fact, I kind of wish we'd spent more, as it would have meant more amazing food.
Am I using the word "amazing" often enough? LOL.
I mean this in the good sense of the word, not that I'm a food snob -- although, I think maybe I AM a food snob... Um. Okay, yes, I'm a food snob. But I have full right to be. I went to culinary school. I know how to cook like a 5 star chef. I invent my own recipes, and they're actually restaurant worthy. I'm familiar with an incalculable number of types of cuisines -- not just what they should taste like, but how to cook them as well.
To me, good food can be better than the most amazing sex you could ever dream of, and I'm happy with that. Of course, this all means that I weigh a bit more than I should... Meh. Who gives a crap. Its not like I weigh 3 metric tonnes or anything.
So last night, after searching for a new apartment, we're driving through this village in the berkeley hills (yes, it really is a village), and we pass by this little bistro that looks charming. I'd been there for lunch before, but not for dinner, so I figure we should try out their dinner menu.
To my surprise, what during lunch time is a charming cafe with reasonable prices and a simple menu, becomes at night a 5 star french californian cuisine restaurant with a prix fixe menu that you have to know a fair amount about food and the french language to decipher.
Personally, I was in heaven the moment I saw that.
I was above heaven the moment I saw that they make their own pate (I can't figure out how to make the little accent thingies, so that looks wrong... ).
So we ordered a 3 course meal. And yes, it was actual courses. Like really. Complete with the table being reset between the entree' and dessert.
The pate was amazing. They used sage in it, and I've never tasted a better pate in my life.
I had the pacific halibut, which was served over a rice pilaf and topped with wilted escarole and shallots, garnished with a baked fig. The whole thing was surrounded by just the perfect amount of a butter and lemon sauce, which I HAVE to figure out how to make.
The BF got a roast chicken leg roulade, again over rice pilaf, topped with wilted spinach and shallots.
I ate too much. I ate way too much. But because it was all cooked to perfection, and from the freshest local ingredients (many of them organic apparently), I did not feel weighed down at all. Which was a good thing, mind you, because we hadn't had dessert yet.
Dessert was classically french. An artisan cheese platter made up of locally made goat and cow's milk cheeses that I cannot for the life of me remember the names of (probably because I couldn't have pronounced them without tying my tongue in a knot). They were small, and amazing, and one was crusted with ash, another was crusted with grape leaves, and the third was just a normal white crust, and it came with a little bunch of champagne grapes... AH.
We didn't order any wine... We should have though. That would have just made the evening beyond perfect. As it was though, it was better than sex, and I have never been happier with a restaurant in my life. I took their card so we could make reservations for the next time we want to go there. Turns out that we were insanely lucky to get a table without a reservation as they were, other than our one table, booked solid. I mean, turning people away at the door booked solid.
Not that I'm surprised. It was $100 well spent (yup. Dinner for 2, $100 USD. You read it right), and I don't regret one single penny. In fact, I kind of wish we'd spent more, as it would have meant more amazing food.
Am I using the word "amazing" often enough? LOL.
You Know You Play Too Much WoW...
When you not only understand, but find things like this hilarious.
You also know you play too much WoW, when you enjoy things like these.
And for the record... Last night the BF and I went out for an absolutely amazing dinner (which I will probably critique for you all later), and we found our selves asking "why on earth doesn't Stormspire have a fine dining restaurant?"
You also know you play too much WoW, when you enjoy things like these.
And for the record... Last night the BF and I went out for an absolutely amazing dinner (which I will probably critique for you all later), and we found our selves asking "why on earth doesn't Stormspire have a fine dining restaurant?"
Friday, August 17, 2007
Quirk #11
I hate door to door salesman types.
I know they don't do that much anymore, but Comcast Cable has this really horrible practice of knocking on every door of an apartment complex that they have even one customer in, trying to recruit the rest of us.
My normal response to this activity while I'm at home is to politely tell them to fuck off, as I have satellite which is about 100 times better, and 100 times cheaper as well. In fact, the last guy who banged on my door (and I do mean BANGED) didn't even get me to open the door.
BANG BANG BANG
Me: Who is it?
Him: Comcast Cable.
Me: Go to hell. I have satellite. If you knock on my door again, I'm calling the cops.
Seriously. I said that. I'm assuming he ran away, as there was no further conversation... Of course, I doubt I would have noticed, as I walked away from the door after that. =D
So, I thought I had escaped the hordes of Comcast salesmen and women with not so idle threats. I was, regrettably, dead wrong.
This afternoon, I took the elevator down to the street level to have a bit of a break (read: to smoke, and read whilst smoking). So I find myself a spot to sit and relax, but notice theres a group of people standing around with clip boards, khaki pants, and polo shirts with a logo on them. Well fine, its a college campus, they're probably just recruiting for something, and they won't bother me since I'm smoking, and everyone hates people who smoke, right? *sigh* Wrong. Apparently Comcast salesmen are not deterred by the prospect of second hand smoke.
Chick (obviously looking to make a sale on something): Hi there! Nice day huh?
Me (obviously looking totally uninterested): Yeah, sure.
Chick (pulling out a flyer): Want some ice cream?
Me (looking totally and utterly confused, with "strangers with candy" alarm bots going off in my head): No thank you.
Chick (damned cheery): You sure? I just had a fudgecicle. It was great!
Me (trying not to laugh, but choking on it anyway): Really, no. I don't eat the stuff.
Chick (either getting back into a sales pitch, or hitting on me): So um, you go to school here?
Me (looking at her like shes a complete and total nut case): No. I work here.
Chick (looking crestfallen): Oh.
So she leaves me alone, and I go back to reading. No sooner had the 120th second of her silence ticked by, then a guy in the same stupid uniform walks up to me and says:
Want some ice cream?
I didn't even look up from my book, and said (a bit nastily): No.
The chick then pipes up and says: Oh, I just tried that.
Guy: Oh.
Chick: I think I'll sit here with her (meaning ME)
Guy: Okay. Oh look, students!
My entire break was spent being occasionally spoken to by this chick who obviously wanted to sell me something, but couldn't pluck up the courage to actually go into her spiel about it. Constantly things like "good book?" and "man I'm tired" and any other stupid random chatter she could think of.
I finally got sick of it and fled inside, cursing Comcast and their dreadful marketing tactics for ruining my break =(
For the record, Comcast is evil. Do not succumb to their offers of ice cream. The fine print on those free ice cream flyers says that by accepting said ice cream, you are signing over the rights to the rest of your unborn children, and putting Comcast into your will as the sole heir to your estate and the sole beneficiary of any and all life insurance plans you have, or might have in the future.
I know they don't do that much anymore, but Comcast Cable has this really horrible practice of knocking on every door of an apartment complex that they have even one customer in, trying to recruit the rest of us.
My normal response to this activity while I'm at home is to politely tell them to fuck off, as I have satellite which is about 100 times better, and 100 times cheaper as well. In fact, the last guy who banged on my door (and I do mean BANGED) didn't even get me to open the door.
BANG BANG BANG
Me: Who is it?
Him: Comcast Cable.
Me: Go to hell. I have satellite. If you knock on my door again, I'm calling the cops.
Seriously. I said that. I'm assuming he ran away, as there was no further conversation... Of course, I doubt I would have noticed, as I walked away from the door after that. =D
So, I thought I had escaped the hordes of Comcast salesmen and women with not so idle threats. I was, regrettably, dead wrong.
This afternoon, I took the elevator down to the street level to have a bit of a break (read: to smoke, and read whilst smoking). So I find myself a spot to sit and relax, but notice theres a group of people standing around with clip boards, khaki pants, and polo shirts with a logo on them. Well fine, its a college campus, they're probably just recruiting for something, and they won't bother me since I'm smoking, and everyone hates people who smoke, right? *sigh* Wrong. Apparently Comcast salesmen are not deterred by the prospect of second hand smoke.
Chick (obviously looking to make a sale on something): Hi there! Nice day huh?
Me (obviously looking totally uninterested): Yeah, sure.
Chick (pulling out a flyer): Want some ice cream?
Me (looking totally and utterly confused, with "strangers with candy" alarm bots going off in my head): No thank you.
Chick (damned cheery): You sure? I just had a fudgecicle. It was great!
Me (trying not to laugh, but choking on it anyway): Really, no. I don't eat the stuff.
Chick (either getting back into a sales pitch, or hitting on me): So um, you go to school here?
Me (looking at her like shes a complete and total nut case): No. I work here.
Chick (looking crestfallen): Oh.
So she leaves me alone, and I go back to reading. No sooner had the 120th second of her silence ticked by, then a guy in the same stupid uniform walks up to me and says:
Want some ice cream?
I didn't even look up from my book, and said (a bit nastily): No.
The chick then pipes up and says: Oh, I just tried that.
Guy: Oh.
Chick: I think I'll sit here with her (meaning ME)
Guy: Okay. Oh look, students!
My entire break was spent being occasionally spoken to by this chick who obviously wanted to sell me something, but couldn't pluck up the courage to actually go into her spiel about it. Constantly things like "good book?" and "man I'm tired" and any other stupid random chatter she could think of.
I finally got sick of it and fled inside, cursing Comcast and their dreadful marketing tactics for ruining my break =(
For the record, Comcast is evil. Do not succumb to their offers of ice cream. The fine print on those free ice cream flyers says that by accepting said ice cream, you are signing over the rights to the rest of your unborn children, and putting Comcast into your will as the sole heir to your estate and the sole beneficiary of any and all life insurance plans you have, or might have in the future.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Horses Can't Throw Up
So today I learned an interesting little factoid... Apparently, horses are completely without the ability to upchuck. This is not something I envy, though I know plenty of people who would envy it.
I am ill. I have a fever, I have a headache, I feel dizzy, and if I dare to eat anything I feel queasy for a good few hours afterwards. Supposedly I'm having a toxic reaction to one of the medications that I take. One that I've been on for 2 years without a problem. Although, they have been tweaking my dosage lately, and that might be to blame.
The thing is, I hate feeling queasy. If I'm going to sick up, I'd rather just sick up and get it over with. Nine times out of ten, I feel better afterwards anyway.
But no... Like horses, I seem to be incapable of actually getting THAT sick, so I am doomed to perpetual nausea (either that or starvation). And for the record, I've been this way since Sunday before last, and I'm showing no signs of getting better, despite having been off the offending medications for several days. In fact, I think going off said medications has actually made things worse, because now, on top of the original ailments, I haven't really slept for several days, and I'm now tired and really REALLY grumpy.
And I'm at work.
Bleh.
I am ill. I have a fever, I have a headache, I feel dizzy, and if I dare to eat anything I feel queasy for a good few hours afterwards. Supposedly I'm having a toxic reaction to one of the medications that I take. One that I've been on for 2 years without a problem. Although, they have been tweaking my dosage lately, and that might be to blame.
The thing is, I hate feeling queasy. If I'm going to sick up, I'd rather just sick up and get it over with. Nine times out of ten, I feel better afterwards anyway.
But no... Like horses, I seem to be incapable of actually getting THAT sick, so I am doomed to perpetual nausea (either that or starvation). And for the record, I've been this way since Sunday before last, and I'm showing no signs of getting better, despite having been off the offending medications for several days. In fact, I think going off said medications has actually made things worse, because now, on top of the original ailments, I haven't really slept for several days, and I'm now tired and really REALLY grumpy.
And I'm at work.
Bleh.
Monday, July 30, 2007
I'm Alive. I think.
Okay, so again, not posting much. Sorry. Nothing funny has happened, and nothing else noteworthy has happened either. I can't even think of quirks about myself. Meh.
Anyway, for the sake of you all who don't have my email or my AIM to check on me -- I am indeed alive, and as well as can be expected.
The BF might disagree with me on the "well" part... My panicky breakdowns seem to leave him confused about whether or not I'm really "okay" (whatever "okay" means), and I've had more than my share lately.
I'll write something better when I think of something better...
Anyway, for the sake of you all who don't have my email or my AIM to check on me -- I am indeed alive, and as well as can be expected.
The BF might disagree with me on the "well" part... My panicky breakdowns seem to leave him confused about whether or not I'm really "okay" (whatever "okay" means), and I've had more than my share lately.
I'll write something better when I think of something better...
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Quirk #10
I know I haven't been posting this week. I haven't thought of anything to write, and none of the quirks I've come up with are quirky enough to really qualify...
Work sucks.
I hate professors.
I hate professors who have no concept of costs.
I hate professors who have no concept of costs, and have no concept of "budget"
I also hate professors who have no concept of the above things, and submit pre-proposals without consulting their accounting staff first.
Lets just say that hiring a postdoc on a 100k award is um... Not the brightest of ideas. Especially when said postdoc has a history of running up 2k of fabrication costs a month.
Would it be alright with everyone if I screamed now?
Oh yeah, and I especially hate professors who tell me to work up a budget with a certain amount of money, and then, after I've done what they ask, tell me to re-work said budget with only 1/3 of the original total, but keeping everything anyway.
I'm sorry people... Despite rumors to the contrary, I am wholly unable to pull money out of my ass.
And yes... The fact that I am incapable of pulling money out of my ass is my quirk this time.
=P
Work sucks.
I hate professors.
I hate professors who have no concept of costs.
I hate professors who have no concept of costs, and have no concept of "budget"
I also hate professors who have no concept of the above things, and submit pre-proposals without consulting their accounting staff first.
Lets just say that hiring a postdoc on a 100k award is um... Not the brightest of ideas. Especially when said postdoc has a history of running up 2k of fabrication costs a month.
Would it be alright with everyone if I screamed now?
Oh yeah, and I especially hate professors who tell me to work up a budget with a certain amount of money, and then, after I've done what they ask, tell me to re-work said budget with only 1/3 of the original total, but keeping everything anyway.
I'm sorry people... Despite rumors to the contrary, I am wholly unable to pull money out of my ass.
And yes... The fact that I am incapable of pulling money out of my ass is my quirk this time.
=P
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Quirk #9
I'm addicted to books.
Seriously. I go through books like other people go through... well... air I suppose. Example: I bought a book at lunch last friday. I finished it well before going to bed the same day. And I'm talking about a 300 page book here, not one of those little bitty leaflet style ones.
When I was a kid, spring break was my high point because I would go to the library every day, check out a stack of books, and return them the next day, all read. In fact, you know those summer reading contests they would have? I'd have won them all -- if I'd remembered to turn in my reading logs... lol.
Now that I'm a grown up, I never go to the library. Instead, I'm building my own. I buy every book I read, and never get rid of it. My goal is that some day, when I'm rich (and hopefully, not famous), I'm going to have a mansion custom built. Half of it will be one HUGE two story room with shelves built into every bit of every wall, floor to ceiling, with those really cool ladders on runners going around the room.
I think I'm kind of old fashioned when it comes to books... Theres a woman in my office who caught me reading while I was walking to go get lunch (yes, I can read and walk at the same time), and she asked me why I don't listen to books on "tape" (she has hers on her iPod). I told her, honestly, that listening to someone read a book takes the joy out of it for me, and becomes boring after a while. The next day she brings in this little thing that looks like a PDA in a leather case... And says "I know you like books, so I wanted to show you this..." She turns it on, and its an eBook reader. I was horrified, but chocked back my distaste long enough to explain to her that I can't stand reading for long periods of time on a computer screen, and much prefer a regular book. She said she was the same way, but got tired of having to sell her books (OMG WHAT?). Again, I was shocked. I never sell ANY of my books! I keep them all, and read them again in a couple years (when I may have finally forgotten some of the plot). Besides, if I sold my books, I wouldn't have any left for my dream library!
In all truth, even if it weren't for the not liking to read a computer screen for hours at a time, and even if it weren't for the wanting to have a library of my own some day, I'd still buy regular books. There's something relaxing to me about the feel of a book in my hand. There's something relaxing about the smell of the fresh ink on the paper of a new book, and there's something really reassuring about the smell of old ink on old paper of a well worn used novel. The act of turning the pages is my own kind of meditation. It's as if by touching the book, I'm better able to absorb the story. Like the book is a portal to another world, and by holding it, I transport myself there. And that immersion, that complete escape from the reality of the world around me (I read mostly sci-fi/fantasy novels) is something that I don't think I could live without.
Right now, book-wise, I'm revisiting my adolescence by re-reading all my Piers Anthony novels (I have quite a few), and I was slightly disappointed to discover that I must have read some of the series' from books borrowed from the library, as I don't have the entire sets in my collection.
I guess a trip to Borders or Barnes & Nobels is in order... If they even still stock those books... Maybe Amazon.com? Eh. I'll find them somewhere.
Seriously. I go through books like other people go through... well... air I suppose. Example: I bought a book at lunch last friday. I finished it well before going to bed the same day. And I'm talking about a 300 page book here, not one of those little bitty leaflet style ones.
When I was a kid, spring break was my high point because I would go to the library every day, check out a stack of books, and return them the next day, all read. In fact, you know those summer reading contests they would have? I'd have won them all -- if I'd remembered to turn in my reading logs... lol.
Now that I'm a grown up, I never go to the library. Instead, I'm building my own. I buy every book I read, and never get rid of it. My goal is that some day, when I'm rich (and hopefully, not famous), I'm going to have a mansion custom built. Half of it will be one HUGE two story room with shelves built into every bit of every wall, floor to ceiling, with those really cool ladders on runners going around the room.
I think I'm kind of old fashioned when it comes to books... Theres a woman in my office who caught me reading while I was walking to go get lunch (yes, I can read and walk at the same time), and she asked me why I don't listen to books on "tape" (she has hers on her iPod). I told her, honestly, that listening to someone read a book takes the joy out of it for me, and becomes boring after a while. The next day she brings in this little thing that looks like a PDA in a leather case... And says "I know you like books, so I wanted to show you this..." She turns it on, and its an eBook reader. I was horrified, but chocked back my distaste long enough to explain to her that I can't stand reading for long periods of time on a computer screen, and much prefer a regular book. She said she was the same way, but got tired of having to sell her books (OMG WHAT?). Again, I was shocked. I never sell ANY of my books! I keep them all, and read them again in a couple years (when I may have finally forgotten some of the plot). Besides, if I sold my books, I wouldn't have any left for my dream library!
In all truth, even if it weren't for the not liking to read a computer screen for hours at a time, and even if it weren't for the wanting to have a library of my own some day, I'd still buy regular books. There's something relaxing to me about the feel of a book in my hand. There's something relaxing about the smell of the fresh ink on the paper of a new book, and there's something really reassuring about the smell of old ink on old paper of a well worn used novel. The act of turning the pages is my own kind of meditation. It's as if by touching the book, I'm better able to absorb the story. Like the book is a portal to another world, and by holding it, I transport myself there. And that immersion, that complete escape from the reality of the world around me (I read mostly sci-fi/fantasy novels) is something that I don't think I could live without.
Right now, book-wise, I'm revisiting my adolescence by re-reading all my Piers Anthony novels (I have quite a few), and I was slightly disappointed to discover that I must have read some of the series' from books borrowed from the library, as I don't have the entire sets in my collection.
I guess a trip to Borders or Barnes & Nobels is in order... If they even still stock those books... Maybe Amazon.com? Eh. I'll find them somewhere.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Quirk #8
I really hate coming off like I'm an idiot.
Okay, maybe this isn't a quirk. I don't think I know anyone who actually enjoys having people truly think they're an imbecille. I know people who don't care what other people think about their intelligence (either they're smart enough to know that other people are just stupid, so their opinons are useless, or they're too stupid to realize that seeming stupid doesn't help them in life), but none of them actually enjoy it. Me, well, I care if people realize I'm actually quite smart. I much prefer being thought of as intelligent, and go out of my way to make sure people realize I am. I don't care if people like me or not. They can think of, and call, me a bitch openly. It doesn't bother me. As long as they know I'm a smart bitch.
It's not something that I'm proud of. I show off, mentally, and its a really shallow thing to do. Which is funny, because I don't think of myself as a shallow person. Quite the opposite actually.
Anyway.
So I hate being put into situations that make me look stupid, especially when the reason I look stupid is because I am completely and totally uninformed about something that the person putting me in the situation already knew, and should have told me. And so far today, I have ended up in these types of situations 3 times.
My desk is the closest to the door to our cube farm, and as such, it falls upon me to direct anyone who happens to need directing. So someone comes in to ask if one of my co-workers is around. So I say "if her computer is on, she probably is. if it's not, she's probably not." Upon saying this, another woman in the office decides to pipe up that said co-worker is on vacation for the week. Why she couldn't have piped up when she heard the person ask... I don't know. Why there were no "on vacation" signs posted at this co-worker's desk, I don't know. But I ended up sounding stupid as a result.
So later, another person comes in asking for the same co-worker. Having found out that she's on vacation, I try to direct them to her supervisor. Whereupon the same person that piped up before says "oh, her supervisor is on vacation too." And I nearly slam my head into my desk right then and there. But no, I hold back, and ask politely who is covering while they're gone. The answer? She is. Why she couldn't have told me all that earlier, the first time I made an ass of myself, is beyond me. But whatever.
So after that, someone comes in asking for someone that does not sit in our office (or so I thought). I look at them, confused, and try to direct them downstairs. Whereupon I'm informed by that person that the someone they're looking for moved here. Okay, its a big office, but not THAT big -- I thought -- so I'd know if someone moved in... Right? Apparently not. Apparently this person moved into the far end of the office a WEEK ago, and no one bothered to tell me. And all this I find out from... Guess who. The exact same person who stepped in the first two times.
I really am not sure who to be upset at... My boss for not keeping me in the loop? The people who went on vacation without putting notes on their doors/desks? The people moving into my office without so much as a "hi how are ya? I'm staying for a while"?
GRRR.
Okay, maybe this isn't a quirk. I don't think I know anyone who actually enjoys having people truly think they're an imbecille. I know people who don't care what other people think about their intelligence (either they're smart enough to know that other people are just stupid, so their opinons are useless, or they're too stupid to realize that seeming stupid doesn't help them in life), but none of them actually enjoy it. Me, well, I care if people realize I'm actually quite smart. I much prefer being thought of as intelligent, and go out of my way to make sure people realize I am. I don't care if people like me or not. They can think of, and call, me a bitch openly. It doesn't bother me. As long as they know I'm a smart bitch.
It's not something that I'm proud of. I show off, mentally, and its a really shallow thing to do. Which is funny, because I don't think of myself as a shallow person. Quite the opposite actually.
Anyway.
So I hate being put into situations that make me look stupid, especially when the reason I look stupid is because I am completely and totally uninformed about something that the person putting me in the situation already knew, and should have told me. And so far today, I have ended up in these types of situations 3 times.
My desk is the closest to the door to our cube farm, and as such, it falls upon me to direct anyone who happens to need directing. So someone comes in to ask if one of my co-workers is around. So I say "if her computer is on, she probably is. if it's not, she's probably not." Upon saying this, another woman in the office decides to pipe up that said co-worker is on vacation for the week. Why she couldn't have piped up when she heard the person ask... I don't know. Why there were no "on vacation" signs posted at this co-worker's desk, I don't know. But I ended up sounding stupid as a result.
So later, another person comes in asking for the same co-worker. Having found out that she's on vacation, I try to direct them to her supervisor. Whereupon the same person that piped up before says "oh, her supervisor is on vacation too." And I nearly slam my head into my desk right then and there. But no, I hold back, and ask politely who is covering while they're gone. The answer? She is. Why she couldn't have told me all that earlier, the first time I made an ass of myself, is beyond me. But whatever.
So after that, someone comes in asking for someone that does not sit in our office (or so I thought). I look at them, confused, and try to direct them downstairs. Whereupon I'm informed by that person that the someone they're looking for moved here. Okay, its a big office, but not THAT big -- I thought -- so I'd know if someone moved in... Right? Apparently not. Apparently this person moved into the far end of the office a WEEK ago, and no one bothered to tell me. And all this I find out from... Guess who. The exact same person who stepped in the first two times.
I really am not sure who to be upset at... My boss for not keeping me in the loop? The people who went on vacation without putting notes on their doors/desks? The people moving into my office without so much as a "hi how are ya? I'm staying for a while"?
GRRR.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Quirk #7
Squirrels scare me.
Not in the run away screaming sense, but in the cross the street to get away from them sense, or the stand stock still until they go away sense, or the slowly back away from them sense.
You see, I grew up around what I have come to believe are genetically engineered super squirrels that know no fear of humans, or anything else for that matter. The college campus that I work at is infested with the suckers, and truly, they are not afraid of anyone or anything. Half of them are rabid. The other half will bite you out of spite. They all will steal food right out of your hands, climbing up your leg to do so. It's so bad that ecologists have been called in numerous times to try and come up with a solution for them.
Short of putting a bounty on their heads, no one has been able to devise a plan to get rid of them.
This is because these rabid, non-people fearing, food stealing buggers are not your normal squirrel. I've come to the conclusion that what happened is that way back in the beginning of the university, when genetic engineering was still just a matter of breeding two different species together, someone in life sciences decided to use squirrels as test subjects. These squirrels then mutated, thanks to the vast number of chemicals and radioactive substances they were subjected to, to have the brain power of 10 students all combined. Because they were suddenly smart, and self-aware, they became aware of the torture that was being inflicted upon them. Resenting their human creators (creators of their intelligence anyway) for said toruture, they escaped from their laboratory prison. In the process of this escape, I'm quite sure that at least one lowly graduate student researcher lost his life -- perhaps more -- but the university covered it up, fearing a scandal.
These squirrels, now free, pledged themselves to the destruction of human kind. Not by blowing anything up, or creating bio-warfare devices, mind you. They plotted the destruction of humans simply by scaring them away from places of higher education, and dooming the human race to an existance of substandard education. And we all know ignorance kills, so the plan was a pretty good one.
Now, these squirrels terrorize anyone on campus who dares come within sight of them, patiently winning their war one undergrad at a time. They celebrate when they succeed in frightening off a college administrator, and throw a huge gala event when they manage to chase a professor off campus.
You don't believe me? Ask the BF. He knows. He's seen them. In fact, he thinks they should be made super elite bosses in some MMORPG, they are that fierce.
Is it any wonder squirrels freak me out a little bit now?
Not in the run away screaming sense, but in the cross the street to get away from them sense, or the stand stock still until they go away sense, or the slowly back away from them sense.
You see, I grew up around what I have come to believe are genetically engineered super squirrels that know no fear of humans, or anything else for that matter. The college campus that I work at is infested with the suckers, and truly, they are not afraid of anyone or anything. Half of them are rabid. The other half will bite you out of spite. They all will steal food right out of your hands, climbing up your leg to do so. It's so bad that ecologists have been called in numerous times to try and come up with a solution for them.
Short of putting a bounty on their heads, no one has been able to devise a plan to get rid of them.
This is because these rabid, non-people fearing, food stealing buggers are not your normal squirrel. I've come to the conclusion that what happened is that way back in the beginning of the university, when genetic engineering was still just a matter of breeding two different species together, someone in life sciences decided to use squirrels as test subjects. These squirrels then mutated, thanks to the vast number of chemicals and radioactive substances they were subjected to, to have the brain power of 10 students all combined. Because they were suddenly smart, and self-aware, they became aware of the torture that was being inflicted upon them. Resenting their human creators (creators of their intelligence anyway) for said toruture, they escaped from their laboratory prison. In the process of this escape, I'm quite sure that at least one lowly graduate student researcher lost his life -- perhaps more -- but the university covered it up, fearing a scandal.
These squirrels, now free, pledged themselves to the destruction of human kind. Not by blowing anything up, or creating bio-warfare devices, mind you. They plotted the destruction of humans simply by scaring them away from places of higher education, and dooming the human race to an existance of substandard education. And we all know ignorance kills, so the plan was a pretty good one.
Now, these squirrels terrorize anyone on campus who dares come within sight of them, patiently winning their war one undergrad at a time. They celebrate when they succeed in frightening off a college administrator, and throw a huge gala event when they manage to chase a professor off campus.
You don't believe me? Ask the BF. He knows. He's seen them. In fact, he thinks they should be made super elite bosses in some MMORPG, they are that fierce.
Is it any wonder squirrels freak me out a little bit now?
Things That Make You Go "Ummm"
So I get on the elevator at the second floor, and press the 5th floor button.
After I do this, the only other person in the elevator (who has obviously pressed the 4th floor button) says to me:
"Uh, it's going UP"
I look at her and say:
"Yeah, I know. See how I pressed the 5 button?"
Silence ensues.
*shakes head*
After I do this, the only other person in the elevator (who has obviously pressed the 4th floor button) says to me:
"Uh, it's going UP"
I look at her and say:
"Yeah, I know. See how I pressed the 5 button?"
Silence ensues.
*shakes head*
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Quirk #6
I am addicted to writing implements and the paper they are used upon.
In this modern day of putting everything in a digital file stored on a central server, or a flash drive on your keychain, I still do a large amount of work on paper. In fact, most of the time, I have great difficulty working on anything except paper. To the degree that I tend to duplicate work, simply because I am compelled to work it out on paper first, then enter it into its digital format.
Along these lines, I am a menace to my bank account when entering an office supply store. My most recent decadence was a couple of engineer's computation pads... Which I absolutely adore, in part because I grew up stealing them from my dad but mostly because when it comes to working on paper, there is no better paper to do it on. It's tint lends itself to being easily read, and the faint grid pattern leads to the neatest of writing and figure drawing. The fun part? When you photo copy it, there is no grid, no tint -- just what you wrote on it, and a perfect set of margins. Oh yeah, and no bleeding through either. It's the smoothest, silkiest, leak and smudge free paper I've ever used... For work anyway.
When it comes to personal writing purposes, Claire Fontaine notebooks are piled up on my shelves, on my kitchen table, and anywhere else I can think to leave them. They're expensive. I won't deny that. But if you are a writer of any type (as in, physically writing), it is worth the expense. I have friends that I've turned on to this rather small line of stationary/notebooks, and they have never turned back. Again, smooth silky paper, no smudges, no leaks, and its quite heavier weight than most paper, so does not tear or crumple easily.
Hmmm... This is starting to sound like a stationary ad... I'll switch to pens.
I think I'm the only person on the face of the earth that has pen-gasms. I walk down the pen aisle of any store (any store that has more than bic ball points that is), and I get all hot and bothered. I actually coo over pens. As such, I am incredibly picky about what kind of pens I use.
I can't stand anything other than the finest, most elegant point. Which of course means that I absolutely refuse to use a normal ball point pen. Ball point pens should all be burned at the stake, and a ban put on ever producing them again, imo... But I don't care much for a pure felt tip either, as the tend to warp over time. Instead, there are two types of pen that I will happily use, my favorite being a fountain pen. Unfortunately, the last one of these I had was rather calously snapped in half by an overzealous toddler who had managed his way into the depths of my purse while I wasn't paying the closest of attention... Which nearly resulted in his very quick demise. But I held myself back. It was only a pen after all... *chokes on her words* ONLY a pen... ACK. *cries* I still miss that pen. It was beautiful. But I can't quite afford the hundred or so dollars it would cost to replace it. [If anyone would care to replace it for me *ahem* hint hint *ahem* I will gladly pick out a suitable model at your request]
The other type is much more readily obtained from a normal store -- rollerball pens. Ultra fine point. In as many colors other than black as possible. I personally have never cared much for black ink. It seems so blah. And when you photo copy it, you can't tell it from the original. Blue, again, is a bit boring, but only because it is so overused. I much prefer colors like purple and green. Occasionally even red.
When I used a fountain pen, I used to mix my own colors of ink... Not entirely reccomended mind you, but you'd be surprised the tints one can come up with simply by "forgetting" to clean the nib between color switches.
Anyway, yeah, I'm addicted. I don't deny it. It's one of the few creature comforts I indulge myself in lately -- pens and paper -- and remarkably, they can be practical =)
In this modern day of putting everything in a digital file stored on a central server, or a flash drive on your keychain, I still do a large amount of work on paper. In fact, most of the time, I have great difficulty working on anything except paper. To the degree that I tend to duplicate work, simply because I am compelled to work it out on paper first, then enter it into its digital format.
Along these lines, I am a menace to my bank account when entering an office supply store. My most recent decadence was a couple of engineer's computation pads... Which I absolutely adore, in part because I grew up stealing them from my dad but mostly because when it comes to working on paper, there is no better paper to do it on. It's tint lends itself to being easily read, and the faint grid pattern leads to the neatest of writing and figure drawing. The fun part? When you photo copy it, there is no grid, no tint -- just what you wrote on it, and a perfect set of margins. Oh yeah, and no bleeding through either. It's the smoothest, silkiest, leak and smudge free paper I've ever used... For work anyway.
When it comes to personal writing purposes, Claire Fontaine notebooks are piled up on my shelves, on my kitchen table, and anywhere else I can think to leave them. They're expensive. I won't deny that. But if you are a writer of any type (as in, physically writing), it is worth the expense. I have friends that I've turned on to this rather small line of stationary/notebooks, and they have never turned back. Again, smooth silky paper, no smudges, no leaks, and its quite heavier weight than most paper, so does not tear or crumple easily.
Hmmm... This is starting to sound like a stationary ad... I'll switch to pens.
I think I'm the only person on the face of the earth that has pen-gasms. I walk down the pen aisle of any store (any store that has more than bic ball points that is), and I get all hot and bothered. I actually coo over pens. As such, I am incredibly picky about what kind of pens I use.
I can't stand anything other than the finest, most elegant point. Which of course means that I absolutely refuse to use a normal ball point pen. Ball point pens should all be burned at the stake, and a ban put on ever producing them again, imo... But I don't care much for a pure felt tip either, as the tend to warp over time. Instead, there are two types of pen that I will happily use, my favorite being a fountain pen. Unfortunately, the last one of these I had was rather calously snapped in half by an overzealous toddler who had managed his way into the depths of my purse while I wasn't paying the closest of attention... Which nearly resulted in his very quick demise. But I held myself back. It was only a pen after all... *chokes on her words* ONLY a pen... ACK. *cries* I still miss that pen. It was beautiful. But I can't quite afford the hundred or so dollars it would cost to replace it. [If anyone would care to replace it for me *ahem* hint hint *ahem* I will gladly pick out a suitable model at your request]
The other type is much more readily obtained from a normal store -- rollerball pens. Ultra fine point. In as many colors other than black as possible. I personally have never cared much for black ink. It seems so blah. And when you photo copy it, you can't tell it from the original. Blue, again, is a bit boring, but only because it is so overused. I much prefer colors like purple and green. Occasionally even red.
When I used a fountain pen, I used to mix my own colors of ink... Not entirely reccomended mind you, but you'd be surprised the tints one can come up with simply by "forgetting" to clean the nib between color switches.
Anyway, yeah, I'm addicted. I don't deny it. It's one of the few creature comforts I indulge myself in lately -- pens and paper -- and remarkably, they can be practical =)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Quirk #5
Bugs. The bane of my existance.
I am deathly afraid of several types of bug.
There's the obvious fears of bees, wasps, hornets, or any other flying bug that stings. If I see one of these fierce predators, I generally either a) freak out and run away or b) go catatonic and say "uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh" while staring at the flying offender. This leads to me not having picnics, or eating outside in general, because wasps tend to really love all the food I generally eat.
The basis of this fear (because I wasn't always afraid of these things -- bumble bees used to intrigue me) is that when I was just about 5, and we were driving from NY to California in the dead of August through some god awfully hot state that I can't remember the name of, though it did look much like Nevada... I was shirtless in the car, and a hornet got into the car without my parents noticing, and it promptly stung me squarely on the belly button. Yes, screaming ensued. Yes, my parents were baffled. Yes, I have never been able to look at a stinging flying creature without freaking out since.
Then there's the not so obvious ones.
Ants. I am afraid of ants. To the degree that if I find them in my house in any quantity, I hyperventillate and must go around spraying every last one with windex until they are all completely and totally dead. And then I can't sleep for a day or two, because of the nightmares. Actually, thats the mild response. As in, the response to only having a very very small trail of the buggers show up somewhere. There was an instance in which I woke up one morning, walked into the kitchen to start breakfast, and found a foot wide seething swath of ants that went from my patio door, up the wall, across the ceiling in the living room, along the wall into the kitchen, and down behind the stove. I panicked (I can never remember how to spell that stupid word, I'm guessing its right, but I'm not entirely certain). I couldn't think straight. I couldn't find my way to the windex. I did however manage to find my phone, which I then used to call my ex, and when he answered all I could say was "Ants... Ants everywhere. Help." and cry. Thankfully, that was enough communication for him to grab some raid on the way to my apt, and mercilessly murder the little bastards while I huddled in the corner of my couch watching to make sure he got every last one, and when he missed one, I'd yell "There! There! Kill it!" and point until it was gone...
And then there was the one time in college when I found ants in my bathroom (no where else) one morning, and had to call in sick to work, and not go to class, just so that I could kill every last single one, go get ant bait so they wouldn't come back, then clean my entire apartment because the thought of even one ant on the edge of the toilet was too much for me to bear... Especially when I had to pee... Frantic checking of all edges of the toilet took place for at least 5 minutes before using the thing (including the lifting of seats, and tank covers) every time I needed to, for an entire week.
Typing this, it all seems quite hilarious... And come to think of it, everyone that's ever witnessed my ant exposure based breakdowns has always laughed at me throughout the entire episode...
Then there's the little bitty flying buzzing bugs, that don't actually hurt you that much... But have an awful tendency to fly in your ears and eyes and nose and mouth when you're least expecting it. Mosquitos in particular. Its not so much the bugs themselves that scare me in that instance... Its the "OMG there's a bug in my ear!" thing that bothers me. I think I've grown up hearing way too many stories of people waking up with cockroaches stuck in their ears... Not to mention that there's something that just really freaks me out about the idea of a bug getting inside me somehow. Maybe I have Aliens to thank for that fear... Who knows.
Strangely enough, I am not afraid of spiders. Sure, sometimes they might startle me, but I am not afraid of them in the least. Actually, I quite appreciate them, as they make a habit of eating all the bugs that freak me out.
I am deathly afraid of several types of bug.
There's the obvious fears of bees, wasps, hornets, or any other flying bug that stings. If I see one of these fierce predators, I generally either a) freak out and run away or b) go catatonic and say "uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh" while staring at the flying offender. This leads to me not having picnics, or eating outside in general, because wasps tend to really love all the food I generally eat.
The basis of this fear (because I wasn't always afraid of these things -- bumble bees used to intrigue me) is that when I was just about 5, and we were driving from NY to California in the dead of August through some god awfully hot state that I can't remember the name of, though it did look much like Nevada... I was shirtless in the car, and a hornet got into the car without my parents noticing, and it promptly stung me squarely on the belly button. Yes, screaming ensued. Yes, my parents were baffled. Yes, I have never been able to look at a stinging flying creature without freaking out since.
Then there's the not so obvious ones.
Ants. I am afraid of ants. To the degree that if I find them in my house in any quantity, I hyperventillate and must go around spraying every last one with windex until they are all completely and totally dead. And then I can't sleep for a day or two, because of the nightmares. Actually, thats the mild response. As in, the response to only having a very very small trail of the buggers show up somewhere. There was an instance in which I woke up one morning, walked into the kitchen to start breakfast, and found a foot wide seething swath of ants that went from my patio door, up the wall, across the ceiling in the living room, along the wall into the kitchen, and down behind the stove. I panicked (I can never remember how to spell that stupid word, I'm guessing its right, but I'm not entirely certain). I couldn't think straight. I couldn't find my way to the windex. I did however manage to find my phone, which I then used to call my ex, and when he answered all I could say was "Ants... Ants everywhere. Help." and cry. Thankfully, that was enough communication for him to grab some raid on the way to my apt, and mercilessly murder the little bastards while I huddled in the corner of my couch watching to make sure he got every last one, and when he missed one, I'd yell "There! There! Kill it!" and point until it was gone...
And then there was the one time in college when I found ants in my bathroom (no where else) one morning, and had to call in sick to work, and not go to class, just so that I could kill every last single one, go get ant bait so they wouldn't come back, then clean my entire apartment because the thought of even one ant on the edge of the toilet was too much for me to bear... Especially when I had to pee... Frantic checking of all edges of the toilet took place for at least 5 minutes before using the thing (including the lifting of seats, and tank covers) every time I needed to, for an entire week.
Typing this, it all seems quite hilarious... And come to think of it, everyone that's ever witnessed my ant exposure based breakdowns has always laughed at me throughout the entire episode...
Then there's the little bitty flying buzzing bugs, that don't actually hurt you that much... But have an awful tendency to fly in your ears and eyes and nose and mouth when you're least expecting it. Mosquitos in particular. Its not so much the bugs themselves that scare me in that instance... Its the "OMG there's a bug in my ear!" thing that bothers me. I think I've grown up hearing way too many stories of people waking up with cockroaches stuck in their ears... Not to mention that there's something that just really freaks me out about the idea of a bug getting inside me somehow. Maybe I have Aliens to thank for that fear... Who knows.
Strangely enough, I am not afraid of spiders. Sure, sometimes they might startle me, but I am not afraid of them in the least. Actually, I quite appreciate them, as they make a habit of eating all the bugs that freak me out.
Monday, June 25, 2007
I Could Have Done Better With Hypercard
I am officially completely and totally disgusted with my department.
Today I was required to attend a "training" session in regards to our online financial management/purchasing/reimbursements system thing. They're offering these training sessions in the hopes of getting more people to use it, instead of submitting paper documents. Well, let me tell you, no amount of training sessions are going to get more people to use this piece of crap system.
Management thinks people aren't using it because "they're afraid of new ways of doing things." HA! This is a research center that gets its funding specifically because they're one of the best in the world at figuring out how to create new and better ways of doing things. The faculty and students aren't afraid of new things. They make their livings off of new things. They APPRECIATE new and better ways to do things.
The problem here is that this online system isn't better. It's new, yes. But its already an outdated, poorly programmed, unweildly mess of a thing. Personally, I don't want to ever log into it again.
Now... I'm going to preface this next bit by explaining that I am extremely tech savvy. You give me a new program to use, and I don't need a manual. I just sit down with the thing for an hour, and suddenly I'm an expert. I'm no stranger to basic programming either. I understand the ins and outs. I've designed websites. I've written programs in basic. My BF bombards me every day with information about programming and programming languages that I never dreamed I'd ever hear, let alone actually understand -- but I do understand a lot of it.
That being said: I could have done a better job at designing this thing, and I could have done a better job of it using nothing more than hypercard. Do you remember hypercard? That lovely little program Mac had back in the 90's that let you basically write your own computer programs just by dragging and dropping page elements? Eh, if you don't remember it, that's okay. Imagine Frontpage or Dreamweaver, but for writing applications as well as websites, and much more simplistic.
Seriously. I could have done way better.
The GUI on this "intranet" is so counterintuitive that I spent 15 minutes just trying to figure out which menu item I was supposed to click on. Me. Me, who only ever needs an hour to learn a piece of software well enough to give classes on how to use it. I was completely and totally lost in this web app. The menu set up was beyond attrocious. The "instructions" on each page were convoluted and misleading. The functionality is so limited, that I can get things done faster on paper. Not to mention the fact that this thing is entirely laid out using tables. There are no divs on the page. None. Just tables. Tables and tables and tables, within even more tables.
There is no "help" menu either. No FAQ. Just a 20 page user manual that you have to download in .pdf.
If a professor wants to look at his available funding (a simple thing, a common thing) he has to sift through several pages full of overly long links (not buttons or anything), each time clicking the right one to get further along in the process.
If a student wants to make a requisition, they have to figure out that the correct section of the site to go to for that is "services" then they have to figure out which professor they're supposed to be logging in under, and then they have to figure out which type of requisition they want to fill out -- and none of this is labelled clearly and simply. It's all in accounting staff jargon that no one understands (well, no one except us accountants).
And you know what makes this whole situation worse? It's taken the staff they hired to do this YEARS to get it to the point it's at currently. YEARS! The BF probably could have had it done in 6 months, with way more functionality, and have it so streamlined that no one would be confused about anything, and no "training" would be necessary, as you could tell exactly what you were doing just by looking at the thing.
Oh yeah, and did I mention that the guy they hired to do this barely speaks english, and makes about 3 times as much money as I do.
And I could have done better at it using Hypercard.
*screams in frustration*
Today I was required to attend a "training" session in regards to our online financial management/purchasing/reimbursements system thing. They're offering these training sessions in the hopes of getting more people to use it, instead of submitting paper documents. Well, let me tell you, no amount of training sessions are going to get more people to use this piece of crap system.
Management thinks people aren't using it because "they're afraid of new ways of doing things." HA! This is a research center that gets its funding specifically because they're one of the best in the world at figuring out how to create new and better ways of doing things. The faculty and students aren't afraid of new things. They make their livings off of new things. They APPRECIATE new and better ways to do things.
The problem here is that this online system isn't better. It's new, yes. But its already an outdated, poorly programmed, unweildly mess of a thing. Personally, I don't want to ever log into it again.
Now... I'm going to preface this next bit by explaining that I am extremely tech savvy. You give me a new program to use, and I don't need a manual. I just sit down with the thing for an hour, and suddenly I'm an expert. I'm no stranger to basic programming either. I understand the ins and outs. I've designed websites. I've written programs in basic. My BF bombards me every day with information about programming and programming languages that I never dreamed I'd ever hear, let alone actually understand -- but I do understand a lot of it.
That being said: I could have done a better job at designing this thing, and I could have done a better job of it using nothing more than hypercard. Do you remember hypercard? That lovely little program Mac had back in the 90's that let you basically write your own computer programs just by dragging and dropping page elements? Eh, if you don't remember it, that's okay. Imagine Frontpage or Dreamweaver, but for writing applications as well as websites, and much more simplistic.
Seriously. I could have done way better.
The GUI on this "intranet" is so counterintuitive that I spent 15 minutes just trying to figure out which menu item I was supposed to click on. Me. Me, who only ever needs an hour to learn a piece of software well enough to give classes on how to use it. I was completely and totally lost in this web app. The menu set up was beyond attrocious. The "instructions" on each page were convoluted and misleading. The functionality is so limited, that I can get things done faster on paper. Not to mention the fact that this thing is entirely laid out using tables. There are no divs on the page. None. Just tables. Tables and tables and tables, within even more tables.
There is no "help" menu either. No FAQ. Just a 20 page user manual that you have to download in .pdf.
If a professor wants to look at his available funding (a simple thing, a common thing) he has to sift through several pages full of overly long links (not buttons or anything), each time clicking the right one to get further along in the process.
If a student wants to make a requisition, they have to figure out that the correct section of the site to go to for that is "services" then they have to figure out which professor they're supposed to be logging in under, and then they have to figure out which type of requisition they want to fill out -- and none of this is labelled clearly and simply. It's all in accounting staff jargon that no one understands (well, no one except us accountants).
And you know what makes this whole situation worse? It's taken the staff they hired to do this YEARS to get it to the point it's at currently. YEARS! The BF probably could have had it done in 6 months, with way more functionality, and have it so streamlined that no one would be confused about anything, and no "training" would be necessary, as you could tell exactly what you were doing just by looking at the thing.
Oh yeah, and did I mention that the guy they hired to do this barely speaks english, and makes about 3 times as much money as I do.
And I could have done better at it using Hypercard.
*screams in frustration*
Friday, June 22, 2007
Staff Depreciation Day
Wednesday was Staff Depreciation Day.
What? I'm making typos? I should have typed Staff Appreciation Day? Nooooo... I'm not making any typos. I intended it to read exactly that. You see, ever since I've come to work here, "staff appreciation day" has gotten cheaper and cheaper, and more and more insulting.
The first one of these things I ever got to attend, we were encouraged to bring our families with us, and partake of a huge barbeque, and play carnival games, and dance to live music all afternoon. Not to mention, bring home lots of free stuff, like t-shirts and mugs and note pads and pens and, and, and.
The second one was still a huge barbeque with carnival games, live music and loads of free stuff, but we weren't allowed to bring our families.
The third one was a much smaller barbeque (as in, one per person type thing), with carnival games, live music, and a little bit of free stuff.
The fourth one was a small barbeque, really stupid carnival games (as in, I think someone made them in their backyard), live music, and even less free stuff.
The fifth one was a rationed barbeque, for which we were required to show staff ID, the games may have well not existed, the live music was so lame it hurt my ears, and the "free stuff" consisted of a really lame looking t-shirt.
This year, year 6, wasn't even a barbeque. The university cafeteria catered premade sandwiches and bags of something that was supposed to resemble popcorn. There was no live music... At least, if there was, it hadn't shown up by the time I did (and I went late). And the "free stuff" was now not even a lame t-shirt, but was a sports bottle (you know, the OLD kind, made of thick rubbery plastic, that makes the water taste like plastic), and a pen.
Oh yes, we staff are sooo appreciated that they keep cutting the funding used to appreciate us.
What? I'm making typos? I should have typed Staff Appreciation Day? Nooooo... I'm not making any typos. I intended it to read exactly that. You see, ever since I've come to work here, "staff appreciation day" has gotten cheaper and cheaper, and more and more insulting.
The first one of these things I ever got to attend, we were encouraged to bring our families with us, and partake of a huge barbeque, and play carnival games, and dance to live music all afternoon. Not to mention, bring home lots of free stuff, like t-shirts and mugs and note pads and pens and, and, and.
The second one was still a huge barbeque with carnival games, live music and loads of free stuff, but we weren't allowed to bring our families.
The third one was a much smaller barbeque (as in, one per person type thing), with carnival games, live music, and a little bit of free stuff.
The fourth one was a small barbeque, really stupid carnival games (as in, I think someone made them in their backyard), live music, and even less free stuff.
The fifth one was a rationed barbeque, for which we were required to show staff ID, the games may have well not existed, the live music was so lame it hurt my ears, and the "free stuff" consisted of a really lame looking t-shirt.
This year, year 6, wasn't even a barbeque. The university cafeteria catered premade sandwiches and bags of something that was supposed to resemble popcorn. There was no live music... At least, if there was, it hadn't shown up by the time I did (and I went late). And the "free stuff" was now not even a lame t-shirt, but was a sports bottle (you know, the OLD kind, made of thick rubbery plastic, that makes the water taste like plastic), and a pen.
Oh yes, we staff are sooo appreciated that they keep cutting the funding used to appreciate us.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Quirk #4
I can't stand silence.
No really, I hate it. I've constantly got to have some kind of noise going on, preferably music or the TV. I go a little bit nuts if there's no backround noise.
I'm not entirely sure why this is, but it is.
No really, I hate it. I've constantly got to have some kind of noise going on, preferably music or the TV. I go a little bit nuts if there's no backround noise.
I'm not entirely sure why this is, but it is.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Life is weird...
When I was a teenager, and deep into my Christian phase, a friend and I made a local Christian bookstore our hang out of choice. They had a great music selection (as in, rock music, not just your typical gospel stuff), and on Friday nights, they had live performances. They also had a coffee/juice bar, so we could basically hang there until we decided we were hungry enough to go find food somewhere.
In the course of hanging out there, we got to know the owners, who were all really sweet people.
Eventually, my friend got a job there, so we all hung out there even more than before, and became friends with the owners. One of them especially, went out of his way for us, opening up the coffee bar early, or opening it up just for us even when it was supposed to be closed all day. He was the sweetest guy...
I still have fond memories of getting a couple friends together and heading over there on Friday nights to see local Christian performers live, for free. And I remember how the owners were nice enough to sell another friend's band's album without much of a markup, so the band got to keep most of the profits (I still have that album somewhere... They were actually pretty good). And I loved how they didn't mind a group of teenagers hanging out in the store -- they encouraged it in fact. I guess they rathered us hanging out there, in a Christian environment, than going somewhere less... Well, less Christian.
Last week there was a small plane crash not too far from where I live. The names of those involved were not publicized, so I didn't pay too much attention to it. Planes seem to crash every now and again out here... We have a lot of small airports, and a lot of inexperienced people flying Cesnas.
But I just heard from a friend this morning that one of the people killed in this particular crash was one of the owners of this store that we spent so much time at growing up. Her old boss, and our old friend. The one who was extra nice to us.
Life is just so weird sometimes...
In the course of hanging out there, we got to know the owners, who were all really sweet people.
Eventually, my friend got a job there, so we all hung out there even more than before, and became friends with the owners. One of them especially, went out of his way for us, opening up the coffee bar early, or opening it up just for us even when it was supposed to be closed all day. He was the sweetest guy...
I still have fond memories of getting a couple friends together and heading over there on Friday nights to see local Christian performers live, for free. And I remember how the owners were nice enough to sell another friend's band's album without much of a markup, so the band got to keep most of the profits (I still have that album somewhere... They were actually pretty good). And I loved how they didn't mind a group of teenagers hanging out in the store -- they encouraged it in fact. I guess they rathered us hanging out there, in a Christian environment, than going somewhere less... Well, less Christian.
Last week there was a small plane crash not too far from where I live. The names of those involved were not publicized, so I didn't pay too much attention to it. Planes seem to crash every now and again out here... We have a lot of small airports, and a lot of inexperienced people flying Cesnas.
But I just heard from a friend this morning that one of the people killed in this particular crash was one of the owners of this store that we spent so much time at growing up. Her old boss, and our old friend. The one who was extra nice to us.
Life is just so weird sometimes...
Monday, June 18, 2007
Stupid Saying of the Day
I was wandering around the WoW forums, and I came across a poster with the following idiotic saying in his signature field: "Except for ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, war has never solved anything!"
This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever read... Okay, well maybe not the stupidest, but at least the stupidest thing I've read today.
To my knowledge, all these things are alive and well in the world.
When confronted with this fact, the person with the saying in their signature says to me "The Civil War abolished slavery. WWII got rid of Hitler. The Cold War stopped the spread of Communism."
Being that this was the WoW forums, I wanted to say "lrn2history" but a forum mod stepped in and told us to take the debate elsewhere.
Fine fine. Whatever.
Those of us fluent in world history and current events know that slavery existed (and still exists) in more countries than just the United States. A civil war in just one country does not abolish it world wide, and in fact, didn't even truly succeed in abolishing it in it's own country. It may not be legal in the US anymore, but it still exists here. All the poor teenage Thai and Vietnamese women being kidnapped and imported into the US for use as slave prostitution are proof of that.
And for those of us who know anything about history, WWII may have caused Hitler to kill himself, but he is not the end all be all of nazism. Sure, the current "nazi" groups are not as well organized, but I can guarantee you there are more members now than there were in the 30's.
As for the cold war... That didn't rid the world of communism. China and North Korea are still alive and well. France is fast on it's way to joining them in being communist, though they keep insisting they're only socialists. Whatever guys. Outlawing public displays of religion (even such small ones as wearing a teeny little cross as a necklace) sure sounds like communism to me.
Eh. Politics isn't my vent. I'm not pro-war, I'm not anti-war. Shit happens, and sometimes the only way to deal with it is to blow some people up. I get it. But I would never go so far as to say that war is GOOD. Necessary perhaps. But not good. It doesn't actually solve anything. It may take out the problem temporarily, by way of killing all the people involved in a situation, but that doesn't address the social issues behind whatever was going on. And until you address those social issues, you can never really "solve" a world wide problem.
Anyone who thinks otherwise is a moron, imo.
This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever read... Okay, well maybe not the stupidest, but at least the stupidest thing I've read today.
To my knowledge, all these things are alive and well in the world.
When confronted with this fact, the person with the saying in their signature says to me "The Civil War abolished slavery. WWII got rid of Hitler. The Cold War stopped the spread of Communism."
Being that this was the WoW forums, I wanted to say "lrn2history" but a forum mod stepped in and told us to take the debate elsewhere.
Fine fine. Whatever.
Those of us fluent in world history and current events know that slavery existed (and still exists) in more countries than just the United States. A civil war in just one country does not abolish it world wide, and in fact, didn't even truly succeed in abolishing it in it's own country. It may not be legal in the US anymore, but it still exists here. All the poor teenage Thai and Vietnamese women being kidnapped and imported into the US for use as slave prostitution are proof of that.
And for those of us who know anything about history, WWII may have caused Hitler to kill himself, but he is not the end all be all of nazism. Sure, the current "nazi" groups are not as well organized, but I can guarantee you there are more members now than there were in the 30's.
As for the cold war... That didn't rid the world of communism. China and North Korea are still alive and well. France is fast on it's way to joining them in being communist, though they keep insisting they're only socialists. Whatever guys. Outlawing public displays of religion (even such small ones as wearing a teeny little cross as a necklace) sure sounds like communism to me.
Eh. Politics isn't my vent. I'm not pro-war, I'm not anti-war. Shit happens, and sometimes the only way to deal with it is to blow some people up. I get it. But I would never go so far as to say that war is GOOD. Necessary perhaps. But not good. It doesn't actually solve anything. It may take out the problem temporarily, by way of killing all the people involved in a situation, but that doesn't address the social issues behind whatever was going on. And until you address those social issues, you can never really "solve" a world wide problem.
Anyone who thinks otherwise is a moron, imo.
Quirk #3
I am a walking encyclopedia/dictionary/thesaurus/grammar reference.
It may not be evident in my posts here, as I tend to be rather laid back about my own personal writing style (this is of course, for my own benefit, and not anyone else's after all), but according to other people, I am a queen of the english language.
I was first dubbed a walking dictionary when I was in middle school (6th grade to be exact), and any time someone needed to know how to spell something, all they had to do was ask me. This trend first started with my close friends, and quickly blossomed outwards to the entire population of the school -- teachers included.
Then, in highschool, it expanded to asking me the meanings and origins of words, as well as what other words mean the same thing.
Then, in college, people started to ask me the entire history of concepts... Which, surprisingly I was able to explain, despite having very little memory of having actually read them (I'm sure I have, but I've read so much, it all gets a little jumbled up).
After college, I became a fount of useless information. You know, silly little trivia facts that don't actually mean anything to society, but its knowledge nonetheless, so I'd absorbed it somewhere. Things like "Mel Gibson's first film was an Australian flick called Tim, in which he played a mentally challenged young man who fell in love with a much older, highly intellectual woman." Or other things like, "it takes more calcium to digest milk than you actually get out of the milk itself, so if you drink milk for the calcium, you're actually operating at a net loss of calcium."
Now, at work, I act as an ESL teacher for one of my co-workers, who is constantly asking me about various words she doesn't understand, and how to properly construct sentences (She's from Algeria, and speaks French and Arabic natively -- not English).
All this is not to say that I know every word out there... I don't. But when I was younger, I would (for the fun of it) read the dictionary, so I know more arcane words than most. (How many of you know what Pusillanimous means? hmmm? Or what word it is in the etymology for that's commonly used today to mean the same thing?)
I did learn a new word the other day... Dearth. I was reading a Canadian's blog, and found this word, and was like "omg! A word I don't know! Need to look it up!"
(for those of you wondering, it means "a severe lack")
I also think I'm one of the only people who considers being able to use the Oxford English Dictionary online a perk of their job... LOL.
It may not be evident in my posts here, as I tend to be rather laid back about my own personal writing style (this is of course, for my own benefit, and not anyone else's after all), but according to other people, I am a queen of the english language.
I was first dubbed a walking dictionary when I was in middle school (6th grade to be exact), and any time someone needed to know how to spell something, all they had to do was ask me. This trend first started with my close friends, and quickly blossomed outwards to the entire population of the school -- teachers included.
Then, in highschool, it expanded to asking me the meanings and origins of words, as well as what other words mean the same thing.
Then, in college, people started to ask me the entire history of concepts... Which, surprisingly I was able to explain, despite having very little memory of having actually read them (I'm sure I have, but I've read so much, it all gets a little jumbled up).
After college, I became a fount of useless information. You know, silly little trivia facts that don't actually mean anything to society, but its knowledge nonetheless, so I'd absorbed it somewhere. Things like "Mel Gibson's first film was an Australian flick called Tim, in which he played a mentally challenged young man who fell in love with a much older, highly intellectual woman." Or other things like, "it takes more calcium to digest milk than you actually get out of the milk itself, so if you drink milk for the calcium, you're actually operating at a net loss of calcium."
Now, at work, I act as an ESL teacher for one of my co-workers, who is constantly asking me about various words she doesn't understand, and how to properly construct sentences (She's from Algeria, and speaks French and Arabic natively -- not English).
All this is not to say that I know every word out there... I don't. But when I was younger, I would (for the fun of it) read the dictionary, so I know more arcane words than most. (How many of you know what Pusillanimous means? hmmm? Or what word it is in the etymology for that's commonly used today to mean the same thing?)
I did learn a new word the other day... Dearth. I was reading a Canadian's blog, and found this word, and was like "omg! A word I don't know! Need to look it up!"
(for those of you wondering, it means "a severe lack")
I also think I'm one of the only people who considers being able to use the Oxford English Dictionary online a perk of their job... LOL.
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