Today is going to be one of those days where I don't actually get anything done. I can't concentrate. I just can't. I have a headache again... This time from crying though.
I've just gotten back from the going away party for D, and as much as I wanted to stand up and say something, I was too choked up to do it. I wasn't the only one in tears, thankfully, or I would have felt like a fool.
The party was nice -- people from all over campus showed up to send their best wishes, which meant that I got to see a couple of old co-workers that I hadn't seen in a long time. Catching up with them was pleasant, and they all seemed a lot happier after having left the department...
Things only got weird when they asked about where I'd been for the 6 months I was gone. I mean, having had a breakdown isn't really something you want to advertise in a work environment, no matter how much you like the person you're talking to. But everyone I talked to kept saying how I look great, and how the time off must have been good for me, how I look more relaxed, and so on...
People are just treating it like I took an extended vacation... Which, while better than assuming I was on respirators the whole time, is just as inaccurate.
You know, I don't think I've really gone into detail about all that here... I will though, I promise. Maybe today even, since I can't concentrate on work.
Anyway. So there were ups this afternoon as well as downs. But as usual, its the downs that are sticking with me.
I am really REALLY going to miss D. And I have no clue how we're all going to manage without her, especially me.
Dammit... Here I go with the tears again. *wanders off to try and find a tissue*
tess, petal, there's nothing i can say that will make you feel any better, i realise that. but just know that i'm sending love and light from across the water, and a big box of virtual tissues so you don't have to use random articles of clothing xx
ReplyDeletei know it may seem odd that i care so much, but i care because you mean so much to sapphire, hence you mean a lot to me.
take care, petal, i'll be checking back and you're in my thoughts
cat xx
glad to see you standing strong in the midst of change and evolution.....atta girl
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