Being Good To Myself

For the past few days, I'd been thinking about the fact that with all the resume's I've been sending out, I'm bound to be called for a face to face interview eventually. And then it dawned on me. I don't own any clothing suitable to wear to an interview!! I've grown so accustomed to the casual work environment here that all I really own are jeans and camisole tops, with the rare skirt thrown in -- and those skirts are more suited to a metal concert than an office environment anyway. So, with my wardrobe shortcomings in mind, I headed to Ross straight after work yesterday.

Let me just say, the only two places I shop for clothes anymore are Ross, and Goodwill. I simply can't afford the prices anywhere else, and besides, I never fail to make amazing finds at both places.

Okay, so the goal yesterday was to find some business-like office attire... but while sifting through the racks (Ross is never organized, so you always have to sift) I found a really cute pair of jeans in my size. I was about to put them back, but I stopped...

Queue internal argument:
Me: These are sooo cute...
Myself: They're not interview wear though...
Me: But I need jeans
Myself: No, you need stuff to wear to an interview.
Me: Oh come on, I need jeans.
Myself: No, you need slacks.
Me: Hey, I work hard, don't I deserve to look good while I do it?
Myself: Yes... but...
I: We rarely spend money on ourselves, we deserve a treat now and again, just buy them already.

So I picked them up. I did find a really great pair of black Haggar stretch slacks for "business attire" not too far away... and by the way, I look amazing in them. So off for blouses I went. Unfortunately I couldn't find any with sleeves that I liked, so I went digging through the "tank top" section... where I found the cutest cami ever. It was black lycra-ish with a deep criss-cross V neck, and adorable little eyelets all over. Mmm... not businessy at all, but I kept coming back to it, I liked it so much...

Queue internal argument:
Me: I would look soooo good in that...
Myself: But we're looking for interview clothes...
Me: But I'd look amazing in that.
Myself: Not for an interview you wouldn't
Me: Its only 7 bucks...
Myself (increasingly petulant): But we're already getting the jeans...
Me: Oh My God! It'd go GREAT with those jeans!
Myself (wimpering): But... Interview...
Me: Come on, I deserve nice clothes don't I?
Myself: But!!
I: Can it already. We deserve to look nice all the time, not just for interviews. Get it already.

So I did. And I found a great blouse for interviews too... sleeveless with one of those necklines thats a bunch of really loose fabric so it folds down into a V neck... black and satiny... very posh indeed.

After I paid for everything, I started to feel a little guilty for having splurged on myself...

Queue internal argument:
Myself: I hope you're happy
Me: What?
Myself: We so should have spent that money elsewhere.
Me: Like where?
Myself: The phone bill, the car registration, RENT, gee, I dunno...
Me: Oh...
Myself: But nooooo you wanna look "cute"
Me: Whats wrong with that??
Myself: Its not very practical now is it. Theres nothing wrong with the clothes we own already...
Me: But they're old, and kinda raggedy.. and not stylish at all.
Myself: So what? They're clothes.. its not like we're running around naked.
Me: But...
Myself: But what? You're so frivilous sometimes
Me (increasingly sad): But I'm tired of looking like a frump
Myself: So? Think about all the other things you could do with that cash.
Me: But...
I: Oh My God. Will you shut up? What's done is done. Get over it already.
Myself: But that was a waste.
I: No it wasn't. Feeling good about ourselves is important. And if spending 20 bucks on new clothes will help us do that, then its money well spent. We deserve to look, and feel good. Now shut up!
*Myself goes and sulks in a corner while Me happily counts the bricks in the sidewalk*

I really like I... I is sensible and positive, and won't take any kind of crap. She's always the one to stand up for us in a fight. Me, can be frivilous and kind of childish at times, but she's carefree and girly to a degree that I wish I could maintain on a regular basis. Myself is always the penny pincher and is always down on us. I secretly think she gets off on pointing out our flaws... and no, I'm not insane. Its just that I have these three main facets to my personality that are so well defined that they're almost personalities in and of themselves. And I really do argue with myself that way... its kind of funny at times. So yeah, back to my point...

All this... is a result of me trying to be better to myself. Its something that I realize I haven't done enough of in my life. I've always put other people first, and neglected my own wants and needs. So I'm working on that. If I've had a hard day, instead of cooking, I go out to eat, or order delivery. Or I might buy myself something. Maybe a book, or a cute top, or even something as small as a new pen (I love pens... I have pen-gasms in stationary stores), or a chocolate bar (though, I tend to steer clear of those on most occasions because I don't need the calories). Yeah, money is always a concern for me... my budget isn't the loosest in the world... but I can afford the occasional treat for myself. I HAVE to afford it. It makes me a happier person to treat myself like I'm special, and it helps me believe that I'm special too. And the better I feel about myself, the happier I am, the easier it is to get up in the morning. The easier it is to look in the mirror. The easier it is to make it through the day.

On that note... everyone, your task for the day is to do something nice for yourself. Because you are special, and you deserve to splurge on yourself every now and again. It doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it... it could be as simple as taking an extra long bubble bath, or having 2 cookies instead of one... or getting your nails done... whatever it is, it should make you feel good about yourself. :)