It has come to my attention that the world (for the most part) has forgotten the ancient art of communication. Now, I know this seems a ridiculous thing to say to all you bloggers -- we are all hell bent on communicating our thoughts, feelings, political views, sexual escapades, recipes for chocolate zucchini cake, etc, etc, with the rest of the online world. Even so, we too are letting the art of communication grow stale and musty -- blogging about how wives dont understand their husbands needs, how our teenagers don't listen, about how the rest of the world doesn't understand us... and so on. Why? Because as skilled as we are at writing, we have forgotten how to communicate interactively.
Case in point: I was reading a blog today written by a man who is having extreme marital difficulties, to the degree that he thinks his wife is cheating on him. They sneak around behind each other's backs, snooping on each other's activities... She reads his blog eventhough she promised not to, he checks her cell phone activity, and her email and chat records... She denies him physical intimacy, while he works harder to get into her good graces by doing what he thinks she wants... But do they talk about what is really bothering them? Do they talk about what they REALLY want from each other? No. Or rather, the husband tries, and the wife yells and screams and shuts him down. So the husband is left to wander around in the dark, guessing at what might make his wife happy, and the wife is left with misconceptions about how her husband feels towards her... All because they cannot have an open, honest conversation.
Lack of communication is the death of any association, especially one as intimate as a marriage.
Another case in point: As I have said many times before, my department is being re-organized and restructured, and a myriad of managerial mishaps have taken place. Management decides to do something, and does it, without consulting the people involved to see what the consequences might be, and as a result, chaos ensues. Management makes changes to policies and procedures without informing the people that need to follow them, and as a result, chaos ensues. Now, management is transitioning employees from one organization into the new organization, without informing anyone how this process is supposed to work. As a result, the staff is completely in the dark, scared that they will lose their jobs, unsure what they have to do to keep their positions, and morale is dropping so hard and fast that they're going to start having to patch holes in the floor any minute now. We are confused, and frustrated, and are all looking for new jobs in other departments. But all it would take to calm us down and make us stay would be for the management to communicate their plans and intentions.
The irony is that communication isn't hard. We make it hard, by projecting our own thoughts and feelings onto what other people say. We make it hard, by being afraid that other people will judge us. We make it hard, by judging other people. If we could all learn to just say what we mean, and mean what we say (tactfully of course), communication would be EASY. People have been communicating for thousands of years. We should be experts at it by now. But instead, communication has become a lost art. It has become twisted, and tainted, by political and personal agendas, by predjudice and fear, by pride and greed... We have forgotten how to use our words to the benefit of all involved. We have forgotten that there even is anyone else involved. Discussions become monologues. Conversations become contests about who is right. Debates become diatribes. We don't talk WITH other people anymore. We talk AT them. And sadly, I don't see it changing any time soon.
Our self indulgent, self centered, materialistic, adversarial society has made war on community, and communication was the first casualty. Its a pity, really. Because so much could be accomplished, if we would just communicate with one another...
Wars could be averted. Famine could be circumvented. Epidemics could be halted. Addictions could be avoided. Violent crime could be completely eradicated.
But no... instead of talking openly about the problems we all face, instead of communicating our ideas and solutions... we hide in our own little worlds, ranting and raving through our blogs... insisting on being heard, yet insisting on not hearing anything else...
and I am just as guilty of it as the rest of the blog-verse.
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