feverish ramblings continued

i am now rambling feverishly while sitting at work, attempting to at least pretend to concentrate on something. however the effort is more than i can actually bear. i've never had just a fever before. usually theres something that accompanies it; cough, congestion, pain, something! but not this time. this time its just a fever. i dont even have the body aches that i had on sunday. my boss even gave me a funny look as i tried desperately to keep from slumping to the side while she came in to talk to me this morning... needless to say, i failed, but i managed to pass it off as just deciding to lean on my desk instead of sit straight in my chair. my equilibrium is kaput. if i didnt know better, i'd say i had an innner ear infection... but i know what those feel like, and i do not have one. i dont appear to have anything except this weird fever which is making me somewhat delirious and very very woozy. this is starting on day number 3 of this really fucked up illness, and i'm starting to worry just a tad. especially since my boss decided it would be helpful to tell me how i might have a serious infection and not even know it... gee thanx for putting that into my head for me to obsess on and become hypochondriac about... exactly what i needed. yes. thanx again. *sigh*

but yeah. i cant concentrate. i'm afraid to do the cash handling part of my job for fear that i may fuk it up somehow (even though i can do it with my eyes closed -- okay not really because i cant read the amounts off the checks with my eyes closed, but you know what i mean). i'm afraid to approve any payments because i dont think i'm capable of doing math at this point. not even the really simple stuff. heck, i dont even trust myself to file because i'm afraid i'll get the account numbers mixed up and misfile something important.

so i'm just kind of sitting here, ready to answer the phone and attempt to sound at least somewhat coherrent, and maybe respond to an email or three. i dont think i can handle much more than that, but at least i'm here, and its already almost lunch time. not that i'm hungry really. but i can go lay down at lunch... that should be nice, but its dangerous, cuz who knows when i'll wake up again. heh.

anyway, back to staring at my email browser, waiting for something non-complex to show up.