i have been remiss...

i realize that i have been remiss in posting... but i've got a good reason. and no, work is not it. hehe.

i ended up staying home yesterday... and as i was lying on my couch watching tv, wondering when oh when would i stop being in hellishly excruciating pain, and seriously debating getting a sex change, my new laptop showed up! i'm glad i stayed home, or i would have missed the guy, and had to wait another day or two to get it! let me just say, after that point, i rather forgot that i was in such extreme discomfort, and immediately set about configuring my beautiful wonderful new computer.

i had techie-gasms all afternoon [yeah, you read that right, techie-gasms. what of it? i have pen-gasms and stationary-gasms when i go to office supply stores too! ugh... shush up... stop laughing at me!], and late into the evening, playing with my new toy... exploring it, probing it, rearranging it, and testing it out.

its a dell inspiron 1000, 2.2 ghz intel celeron processor, 512 mb ram, 60 gb hard drive, 15" screen, integrated networking card, pcmcia 802.11b/g wireless card, dvd-cd r/w... and came with word perfect office 12, paint shop pro 8, and a bunch of other various software.

i am having a torrid love affair with it. [i appologize whole heartedly... but i couldnt resist... i have fallen hopelessly, madly, in love with my laptop... what can i say, i'm an uber geek at heart *shrug*]

i only have 3 problems with it.

1) it runs microshaft windoze X-Puke as an operating system. in my opinion, that is the worst platform ever created... and bill gates should be drawn and quartered for daring to market such a complete and utter piece of crap to us. [for those of you unfamiliar with the derogatory slang i have just used... microshaft = microsoft, windoze = windows, X-Puke = XP] X-Puke isnt compatible with hardware that i currently own, and it isnt compatible with software that i currently own, therefore making my investments in those rather worthless.

[rant about microshaft: gotta love the money making scheme microshaft has going there... i can see it now:

bill gates: lets make a new OS platform.
minions: yes master!
bill: now, how do we make it even more profitable than the last one?
minions: you know all master, enlighten us! instruct us in your evil ways!
bill: i know... we'll make it incompatible with just about everything thats currently out on the market!
minions: oh great overlord, how will that make it more profitable??
bill: it will make it more profitable, because it will only run software, and be compatible with hardware, that we authorize. people will have to throw out all their old software and hardware, and go buy it new again, from us!!
minions (prostrating themselves): oooooooooooohhhhhh! aaaahhhhhhh! we are awed by your malfeasance!

what, you dont think that bill gates is the embodiment of all evil? damn, he's gotten to you too... *holds up hands in front of her face, fingers forming a cross* get thee behind me, satan!! *tosses holy water at you* hmmm that didnt work.... oh... thats vampires. oh well. nevermind, i guess.]

2) my new laptop does not have a floppy drive. why is this a problem? well, my old lap top does not have a cd burner. so... um... how is it exactly that i'm going to be transferring my files from my old computer to my new one? i have four options. a) i can go buy the $40 software from dell to transfer my files. b) i can email all my files to myself in small batches. c) i can sync the two laptops together via usb or ethernet connection and transfer the files that way... if i can figure out how to do it, and what hardware i need to do so. d) i can hand the old computer over to my ex and let him burn everything to cd for me [this is the option i'm taking since he knows how to do it, and can do it easily. in fact, i think he's doing it tonight.]

3) i cannot seem to get my webcam set up. [oh big whoop right? well hey! its the only way my army boy gets to see me right now, not to mention a few other choice friends of mine that dont get to see me any other way either. its for their benefit, not mine! and i'm all about pleasing people, so damned straight i wanna get that thing hooked up!]. part of the problem is that i lost the stupid disc somewhere, and i cant find it. and the website for the manufacturer doesnt have the full software for download either. all it had were the driver updates [updates are NOT the same as the full software. *sigh*]. and thanks to item 1 [see microshaft rant], the full drivers are not available from microshaft, so i cant get them that way. i've had to resort to having my ex burn me a copy of his neice's software [same camera we think, same manufacturer anyway, and it seems to list all the webcams on that particular disc so we'll see if it actually works out or not] so i can try that route. if it doesnt work... i'll have to contact the manufacturer and see if they'll send me a duplicate copy *sigh*

other than that, i'm more than happy with the thing. it came with word perfect office 12... omg. all you people who badmouth word perfect have obviously not used the most recent version because WOW! and i'm ultra picky about my word processing programs! wp gives you so many different options... and tutorials... and its ultra user friendly... [what about compatability you ask? what about the fact that everyone else in the world uses MS Office? WELL!! let me tell you... WP not only will compose, and save, in WP format, but it also composes and saves in MS Word format. AND it will convert existing docs to WP, Word or PDF at the click of a button! PLUS it has options to compose in "legal mode" which is very cool.] so! there! word perfect haters, take that! i will hear no more ill from you poor pathetic microshaft brain washed fools!!

and on that note, i am off to carry my brand new, shiny, beautiful, wonderful, amazing laptop to my business class!