wow... did i ever just fall off the manic wagon HARD.
i guess theres just something about someone telling you "a mortar just hit the FOB and i have to go report in. i'll try to get back if i can" before they log off thats enough to ruin any good mood. and you know, its not the mortar part thats scary. its the "if i can" part thats scary. you start thinking about all the reasons that he might not be able to... and believe me, none of them are pretty.
its times like these that i curse my overactive imagination, and wish i was a boring un-creative person who never suffered the from the what-ifs. those what-ifs will be the death of me. i'll get so worked up over one of them some day that i'll give myself a heart attack, and keel over in the middle of the street, or at my desk, or some other inconvenient place. but yeah... anyway...
i know i havent talked much about my army boy... actually... i think i've only mentioned him once here, and then only in passing... and you know what? y'all can just keep wondering for now, cuz i havent a clue what he'd think if i started plastering stuff about him all over the internet. I know he doesnt read this blog, he doesnt have time to, but eventually he might, and i really dont wanna embarass anyone here, so... i'll just give ya a few choice tid bits...
hes sweet, funny, absolutely adorable, kind, caring, generous, responsible, and the best thing thats ever happened to me, even if he is stuck in the desert right now, dodging mortars. i have never met anyone [okay, so technically i havent met him yet either, face to face anyway, but you all know what i mean] that i respect, admire, or trust more than him. i have never met anyone who has the power to change me from tears to laughter in the space of 5 minutes except for him. no one makes me smile more. no one makes me feel more special. no one makes me feel more loved. and i cannot wait til he's home, and i can give him all the kisses he deserves for being such an angel to me.
you know, its funny, but just talking about him puts me in a little bit of a better mood... man, i wish he read this thing, i have a feeling he'd like to know that :)
anyway, its about time for me to get out of here... i'm not going to class tonite cuz well, i didnt write the paper (i didnt flake on it completely, i just couldnt finish it cuz my stupid wrist gave out) that i was supposed to turn in... its okay, its just a rough draft, i wasnt stupid enough to flub an actual honest to goodness essay!... and well so since i dont have the rough draft done, its kind of pointless for me to go to a class where we're just going to spend 3 hrs discussing the rough draft that i didnt finish. um. yeah.
so imma go home, and try not to worry too much, and maybe wash some dishes, or treat myself to a vanilla bubble bath by candle light, or maybe both, and then try to get some sleep. i need sleep... god i need sleep... i've got the dark circle thing going on underneath my eyes, EW.
thanx... i needed that :)
ReplyDeleteand uh... isnt "semper fi" the MARINES motto? *ahem*
heh.
oh yeah... and i'm nowhere near brave. at least, i dont see myself that way. i certainly dont FEEL brave. most of the time i feel weak, and helpless, and completely overwhelmed by my surroundings, as if i'm caught in some sort of tidal wave without a surf board[not that i'd know what to do with a surf board anyway!], headed for a wall of jagged cliffs.
ReplyDeletehahahahahaha :P
ReplyDeleteyou know as well as anyone else that i hate pokemon with a passion.
LOL
ReplyDeleteJust randomly happened on here and wanted to add. Keep giving your "army boy" the support he needs - I'm sure his thoughts of you are what get him through the tough times. It's better that you don't publish details about him - loose lips sink ships :) You'd be surprised how much information the bad guys can get from public sources.
ReplyDeleteFrom a former "Army Boy," I hope your time away from him is as painless as possible and that you see him home safe in the near future.
thanx anonymous :)
ReplyDeletei'd never intentionally break OPSEC... goodness! and i never use real names on here, not even mine. [thats right! tess is NOT my real name! shocking aint it?].
i just meant like, intimate stuff, private stuff, conversations we've had, and things he's done (not involving where he is, and not having anything to do with the army at all whatsoever) that i absolutely adore :) the stuff that would embarass any guy to have plastered all over the internet! hehe.
i wouldnt ever say anything about what he does over there, not even the stuff i know is cleared for public knowledge, out of respect for his privacy, as well as for his saftey, and the saftey of anyone else over there with him.
yeah, i've rambled a bit... sorry... i tend to do that [as if you all hadn't noticed]. but yeah. imma continue to "support" my "army boy" no worries there. he means the world to me :) and i hope he knows it too :)
Army? ARMY??? Here I was thinking he was Air Force. :P
ReplyDeleteYou know how those guys tend to hide what they really are, and therefore then to tell people they're Army just to make themselves look better and feel better about themselves.